I Don’t Wear Skinny Jeans But…

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I am not a fan of pants that offer uninvited bear hugs to your balls so in no way do I endorse skinny jeans.

I typically wear my pants looser. I just prefer my sac not be stuffed is all. That and I can’t really drop it, drop it low in them if I felt the urge to.

However, when I hear homophobic reasons as to why you shouldn’t wear a certain fit of jeans, I almost want to try to wear those things just to piss people off.

I should’ve known not to listen to this video because it repeats all of the things that make me wish I had sterilizer spray.

Like the notion that television – specifically reality TV – is somehow steadily turning kids into future sluts. Sluts who apparently are tolerant of folks different than them.

Say that, 40 Glocc on TV:

“Being gay is cool. Being bisexual is cool. It’s cool for men to have purses. It’s cool for men to have these tight pants on. They got this unisex thing now where boys can wear what the girls are wearing.”

What is he watching? I see Dwight and Derek J. on The Real Housewives of Atlanta, but that show doesn’t exactly make the masses scream, “I WANNA SEE THEM TWO GET MURRIED.”

And then he says:

“Killing don’t have anything to do with being a faggot.”

And jeans do?

Only a few months ago did I hear:

…and thought, “What is wrong with these angry old heads?”

Is Danny Up for real with:

“Fuck that happy ass bullshit. A rap concert you should be able to get stabbed, robbed, beat the fuck down. You have that right. If you do not have power you can’t hold the mic. A muthafucker should jump on stage and punch you in your muthafucking face. That’s hip-hop, niggas.”

This from the man famous for wearing press and curls to school. If you’re pressed to be that hard why would you waste all of that bravado entertaining people when you could be robbing them…uh, “my nigga?”

Instead of school districts focusing on idiotic education polices like I don’t know, teaching students to be good test takers versus being able to be critical thinkers we’re having debates about some tight pants?

I admittedly have said once or twice that I was tired of skinny jeans. That had more to do with people so many people buying into a trend than anything else, though. I could care less about the jeans themselves. If people choose to wear them than so be it. It doesn’t make them gay. It doesn’t make them soft. It doesn’t mean they will disturb the education process.

NBA players used to wear hoe shorts on the court and that didn’t stop them from swimming in your auntie back in her loose years.

So many men and in particular, rappers, are so pressed to maintain a hypermasculine image assigned to them by people who put that on us because of some stereotypical view they have of black men anyway. Whenever anyone breaks from that, these guys rant, they rave, and they go on about the good old days. The days when us killing each other off was the most popular topic in music. And now that someone decides to dance around happy in some tight jeans the end is upon us. Nevermind that what’s going on now isn’t that far away from the styles that went on when hip-hop first surfaced. Or the fact that these folks complaining are likely doing so in some baggy pants, which they picked up from jail culture that’s also related to homosexuality.

Likewise, the larger culture they got it from is reacting similarly, going out of its way to shut down anything that reads as “different.” In that teenage boys case,  he got a reminder that men don’t wear tight pants, so sit your funny dressing self down…in regular clothes.

You won’t catch me in skinny jeans (I will not hurt my genitals to make a political statement) but I do encourage those that do to keep wearing them if only to annoy the hell out of these folks. You might not ever have the chance to produce children, but your point will surely be made.

I still don’t like the trend, but the idea of continuing to perpetuate this brute image has to stop. If anything, it makes more men give into the very styles and mannerisms they hate so much because you don’t give them any other option. It’s either skinny jeans or baggy pants. Gucci bags or glocks. Fades or lacefronts. Gangster rap (God, I hate that term, but you know what I mean) or whatever the hell you call what that jerkin music.

Must everything be so extreme?

It’s mess like this that’s going to have me checking Marvin the Martian on my Census survey next year. I quit all of ya’ll.

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