Breaking Down Barbie
Pursed lip people unite?
Upon further listens of her mixtape and viewings of her performances online, I think I like Nicki Minaj.
I’m sorry, but I just can’t get, “Young money, red flag, no more auditions. ASK LIL’ WAYNE WHO THE FIVE STAR BITCH IS!” out of my head.
Sorry for the caps, but I wanted you to know that I just sang it in my head as I typed it.
There’s something about her that’s somewhat annoying yet as previously mentioned, very much intriguing.
Not to mention while back at home I noticed that Nicki’s appeal is expanding.
While at a club they played the remix to “5 Star Chick” and people (OK, me and the person behind me) were annoyed that they didn’t play Nicki’s part.
And then while at Target one day I spotted some teenager blasting Nicki’s mixtape from her headphones. Like it or not, ya’ll, her time is coming. Female rappers haven’t been viable for much of the decade. This girl is about to flip that around in the next.
So given that I never want to behind on what’s going on in pop culture and all I took it upon myself to figure out what’s been one of my biggest hurdles in getting her: Understanding those words that come out of her mouth.
Calling it the “Nictionary,” her fan page breaks it down for the people who paid attention in English class.
Official Secret Society Barbie Statement :
I’m a GIRL \ and I’m RICH \ its BARBIE \ YOU little BITCH!!!!!
My first instinct was to immediately hit the red X and run back to my copy of Hardcore.
But folks, I refuse to be old at 25. I just can’t. Nicki is about to turn 25, which means I should still be able to get it…or at least, fake it when my nieces are old enough to quote this girl back to me (and I tell them to go read a book or something).
One reason I stopped following Nicki on Twitter is because once you start reading her timeline you get the idea of what a brain aneurysm must feel like it.
Now I have help and since I don’t like to suffer alone, I’m passing this off to you, too.
That and I still have no idea what the hell this girl is talking about.
Let’s break down select words from the Nictionary:
AckOrgiddyWay ItchesOrgiddyBay: \ˈaktˈ-orˈgi-dē-wā-ˈiches-orˈgi-dē-ˈbā\: adjective
1: the barbie pig latin term for “whack bitches”.
Alfred Bitchcok : \ˈal-frəd – ˈbich – ˈkäk\ : noun
1: a term of endearment from one bitchy Harajuku Barbie to another. Generally used amongst BFF’s.
Well, she’s certainly a creative one, huh?
Bad Bitch Check : \ˈbad – ˈbich – ˈchek\ : verb
1: is when a bad bitch looks in the mirror prior to an event in which stacks are involved.
Baldy Locks : \bal-dē-läks\ : adjective
1: Good head.
Balloon Boy : \ba-ˈlōⁿ-bȯi\ : noun
1: the adopted lady bug of barbie nation.
2: the oracle.
What in the hell is she talking about? The oracle? Has she been sippin’ from Lil’ Wayne’s cup?
Barbie Detention : \ˈbär-bē -di-ˈten-chən\ : noun
1: When the Harajuku Barbie herself puts one of her barbies on time-out for stating or doing something totally unfetch.
*only the HB can remove a barbie from Barbie Detention. Length of stay may vary.
*While on “BD” a barbie is required to do any task the “HB” asks of her in order to regain her position as a BARBIE. Tasks may vary.
Is this a euphemism for hell? It sounds like it.
Barbie Juice : \bär-bē-jüs\ : noun
1: ice cold pickle juice in a glass that barbies drink to experience a sudden blast of EUPHORIA.
Barbie Powers : /ˈbär-bē-pō-ər/: noun
1: to beam your thoughts to another Barbie without speaking.
2: to put a hex on strawberry shortcakes by wiggling your fingers at them.
I’m beginning to think I’m too sober to be processing this. This is like some shit you should only read after a Happy Hour event sponsored by Boone’s Farm. Anyone keeping up so far?
Bustitbarbie :\ˈbəst-ət-ˈbär-bē\ : noun
1: a naughty barbie who knows how to make it up on her final exam.
To her credit I’ve noticed Nicki always encourages people who are in college.
Cater to your Ken Day :\kā-tər-ˈtü-yər-ˈken-ˈdā\: noun
1: One day a month when Barbie stops being a diva and grants her Ken’s every wish.
Wait, hold up. Isn’t Nicki more of a lady licker than dick diver?
CopyRightin’ Infringements :\ˈkä-pē-ˈrītən-in-ˈfrinj-mənts\: noun
1: girls that claim to be rappers while enlisting the help of ghost writers.
Sounds like shade to Shad if you ask me.
When You Believe : by Whitney Houston & Mariah Carey
1: our official THEME song
You know what…
Surfboard : \sərf-bȯrd\ : adjective
1: used to describe a hatin ass WASHED up bitch.
Sentence : Cowubunga! Hit the surfboard ya surfboard ass bitch!!!!
I quit. She gets two points for being smart about branding, but I refuse to talk like Project Barbie.
I’ll just speak with three different accents in three minutes like she does and call it a day.
Besides, I’m clearly not dedicated enough for some movement like this. They can have it.
Now if you excuse me, I’m about to go and bop and invent Sinick Speak.
P.S. Happy Birthday, Nicki. If you keep this up you’ll be my Dolly Lama. Or some shit.
LeeZett
December 8, 2009 at 1:05 am
You know what? Fuck it. I’m too old. At 27, I’m not gonna even pretend like that ain’t confuse the hell outta me. *sad face*
Taj
December 8, 2009 at 1:14 am
I used to listen to her mixtapes before she hit the public and had an image. I can’t lie, her gimmick is great and it fits her packaged personality. She seems very pretty, put together, witty and even amusing. She can push the Barbie image and people will buy it.
These days, you can’t be yourself in this industry. Its just not enough. You need to become a product, you need to brand and market yourself, because there’s more for sale than just your music; its yourself. Can people relate to you? Would someone want to BE you? What girl doesn’t want to be independent, funny, (seemingly) well travelled, and charming? If it works for her… I guess.
I can’t lie, she does have skills when it comes to rhyming, but as I stated before, that’s not enough. I think her package is grammatically sealed and ready to ship worldwide. Do I buy it? Fuck no. I don`t look or act like Barbie and nor do I aspire to be a toy, a doll, an image. Do I like Minaj? I guess. She’s entertainment. And that’s her job.
ANONYMOUS
December 8, 2009 at 7:42 am
I love Nicki Mee-naj!
VaunTV
December 8, 2009 at 10:55 am
LMFAO Ahh I used to hate her, but I loves her now..She’s crazy as hell and her whole barbie shit is soo Lil Kim circa late 90′s early 00′s but hey, she uses that ish well lol.
Plus, you cant deny that she spits hot shit lol
Charlae
December 8, 2009 at 2:06 pm
This dictionary has got to be a joke. I like her rapping so far, but it’s not worth my energy to try and figure out what the hell she is talking about here. Mostly because I don’t care.
Kahari
December 8, 2009 at 4:08 pm
Barbie represents a woman who is an empty vessel with a shiny exterior that appears to all. She’s a materialistic personality who is designed to display a perfect world as if everything comes easy. I refuse to participate in such foolery because we all are not exempt from harships & heartache. Only in a perfect world. And we all know, no one is perfect…so maybe in your inner perfect world… as far as Ms. Nicki Minaj, I’m not a fan because of her casual annoying high pitched Brooklyn or Bronx thick laced voice, but I do respect her hustle to exemplify herself by portraying a dotty and gritty persona. She is indeed an eye catcher, but is there anything beyond the glitz of this girl? This little Barbie getup can only last her for so long, then, it’s gonna be someone else’s turn. But, as for now, the reality of the situation 2010 is dangerously around the corner, and with Lil’ Wayne’s incarceration quickly approaching, Cash Money won’t have a major artist to generate the consumer’s interest any longer. With Drake out of sight, and signed to the label, the anticipation for his album has died down somewhat. His best bet was to release his album back in the summer of ’09 when he was a featured artist. Omarion, hm, it’s too late for him. His days were numbered when he released “Entourage” back in 2006 (OMG! Has it been that long? SMH…). Rap artist these days build momentum through the leaks of online mixtapes MP3s . Now, this brings us back with MS. Harajuku Barbie Minaj: with her now being the crowned jewel of the label, maybe she actually can surpass the likes of her peers and have a long-lasting career and generate a hit…on her own, that is.
babygirlja
December 8, 2009 at 4:15 pm
*blank fuckin stare at the nictionary*
This ‘girl from Queens with a Scottish/British/Irish accent ‘shtick that she has goin is working for her but I’m 21 and this bitch makes me feel old because I have no desire to learn a new language to understand what the hell she is saying.
the joy
December 8, 2009 at 9:41 pm
Wait a minute, hol up… Somebody got her tatted on their back tho? How long has she been out?! Stop buggin!
ByouT
December 10, 2009 at 4:23 pm
She needs a hug…and it shows
Shanise
December 10, 2009 at 4:29 pm
I’m too old, plain and simple… just too darn old
Ratchet
December 11, 2009 at 4:20 pm
Like a black Lady Gaga. Except even more – knowingly – contrived and campy.
Kennii
December 11, 2009 at 4:47 pm
I’ll be 19 next month.
Either I’m super lame, or that shit is completley over my head.
I just can’t get with it :-/