Me Being Nice
Do you all really think I hate everyone and everything?
Someone suggested such, but if you’re a long time reader you should know that is totally untrue. I like each of you for reading about all of the people who irritate me for whatever reason. And I like you even more if you agree with why I dislike whomever I’m talking about.
Kidding, well, not really, but I don’t mind if you post a discerning opinion on my site (hint, hint…some of you longtime readers).
Anyhow, just because I have something to say about someone in a given instance doesn’t mean I hate them at all. Granted, I am harsh in my criticism but that’s a reflection of my upbringing (cue the “woo, woo, woos”) not necessarily any particular contempt about a given celebrity, politician, or village idiot.
Now one legitimate criticism about me (hi, you) is that I never completely compliment the people I routinely jab at. When I have tried in the past I’ve noticed most people feel that it reads insincere. I can’t be mad at that because it often is.
So, I’ve decided to give myself a challenge: To offer some genuine level of praise to the ten most bashed people on this site.
That way no one can say all I do is clown these folks.
Some of them I like about as much as jock itch, others I don’t really have anything particular against. Ya’ll know I get at everyone – including myself – if I feel the urge to. Still, I’ve been mean to some people and THAT’S NOT NICE!
And on a blog called The Cynical Ones, shouldn’t kindness reign supreme?
OK, after you laugh at that question peep under the hood and watch me get my nice guy on:
Chris Brown
Goodness, this is hard. Look before “the incident,” I never disliked him personally. I just wasn’t a fan. But look me not being a fan doesn’t mean I think he’s untalented. He’s not. He’s a capable pop singer (emphasis on the word pop), a solid songwriter, and a credible entertainer. Not good enough? Alright, I used to not be a fan of his dance style, but now I think he’s really shown growth. His moves are far more fluid and honestly, he’s the most exciting male R&B performer we have out now. He even has some decent songs (“Sing Like Me,” “Take You Down,” “Winner”) Am I a fan? No. Do I want him to go away? No. He’s good at what he does, and quite frankly, he’s one of the very few who makes any real effort.
Oh yeah, uh, he’s cute?
Rihanna
I won’t even pretend that she didn’t used to irritate me. I won’t even pretend that lately she hasn’t been losing my appreciation. Yet, like it or not, things would not be the same without her. Is she the most organic artist? Hardly. However, a lot of pop and R&B artists could stand to be as polished as she is. Rihanna’s style and attempts to try and offer something different are overall appreciated. She makes good music. She’s not boring. She’s young, so perhaps that has a lot to do with some of my gripes, but she’s still necessary. Overall, I’m happy she’s developed into a bigger star.
And she’s pretty.
Zoom, look at me go.
Alicia Keys
Her direction in music has changed, but I imagine after this new album she’ll return to what made her famous: soul –lite music. Like Rihanna, I appreciate what she’s trying to do. I’ll always be grateful to her for “You Don’t Know My Name.” It’s one of the finest songs to come out of this bland decade of music and shows at the core she has the potential to save our generation from being branded nothing more than superficial (as in R&B subject matter) suckers.
Karrine Steffans
This is hard especially once you think about my last entry about her. Wait, I challenged myself to give her a compliment. Must. Give. Compliment.
She’s articulate. She’s smart enough to take tragedy and flip it into something that could make her dreams come true. It’s not my way, but it was a smart way to build a brand. And I imagine she’s HIV negative. Gon’ girl.
Wait, that last line was mean-esque, huh? What I meant to say was she’s a proponent of safe sex.
Sarah Palin
On the Barbara Walters 10 Most Fascinating People special, Sarah Palin managed to work in references to family, Alaska, and her specialty, moose chili. When she quipped about how it was a great source of protein I rolled my eyes like they were in a dancehall. And that is my compliment to her. How many unsuccessful vice presidential candidates can you think of off the top of your dome? Exactly. I don’t like her. She annoys the hell out of me. That doesn’t change the fact that millions more love her and they do so because she’s a boss when it comes to branding. You betcha.
Keri Hilson
“Hands and Feet” is an underrated classic (well, in my world) and honestly, she consistently writes catchy songs and has managed to make a name for herself as a singer. I don’t know if this counts as a compliment, but I don’t hate her (it was just that one blog I wrote really) and she’s cute, right? So are we good here because I gotta finish this?
Christina Aguilera
When she uses her voice correctly she makes beautiful music. I can close my eyes during this performance and think about my favorite person in the world. Her attitude sucks, but her talent doesn’t. Yeah, I’m running out of good feelings.
And I picked the best time to run out of them. Say, Shad is good looking, can act, and uh, is a credible thespian. Oh and my niece liked Rollbounce.
I’d be wrong if I added he got good hurr, too, huh?
Ciara
I’ve been incredibly vicious with Ciara, but in my defense much of that had to do with me feeling like she was wasting her potential…among other things. Truth is I still think she has potential. She’s a good dancer, has great energy, and when recording music that best suits her vocal ability and dance style (Goodies) she shines. I just wish she wouldn’t try so hard because she doesn’t need to.
Like, you should be known more than Kim Kardashian’s new black friend. That’s probably the nicest thing I said this entire post, which means I’m done now.
If anyone feels I wasn’t “nice enough” oh well. I tried, dammit.
KayKay
December 11, 2009 at 3:37 am
haha all the people you complemented are generally no that talented, so yes I do applaud you for trying to complement these mediocre artists lol. And also….
“Now one legitimate criticism about me (hi, you) is that I never completely compliment the people I routinely jab at. When I have tried in the past I’ve noticed most people feel that it reads insincere. I can’t be mad at that because it often is.”
I don’t think you’re hateful at all. I have always agreed on your critisms, they just logically make sense to me why you don’t favor a certain artists over another. Probably b/c you seem like my musical soulmate(same taste in music lol)
I find Rihanna is just a moaning voice w/ a great image and wardrobe(wowzas)
Chris Brown is a whiny nasally singer
Alicia Keys sings in the same yelling tone and left soul
Keri Hilson and R. Leslie are underrated
I loved Ciara when she first came out(Goodies, Ohh). Why did she change?!
I like Drake as a hook singer more than anything
The list goes on…ur not alone lol
LeeZett
December 11, 2009 at 4:38 am
Oh, Michael. You just aren’t cut out for niceness. There, there, its alright, neither am I.
I don’t come here to get the warm fuzzies for the mediocre, I actually come here for honesty about fuckery. And honest praise for people 9and hood songs) that deserve it.
I appreciate the attempt, but forreal, don’t do that again. Just let your inner snipe-monster come onnnnn out. I personally appreciate you for it.
PS: Shad Moss is NOT cute. Nope. Nuh uhh. Not. Neither is that beaver-lookin yella boy you taked about up top. You got a thing for folks that look like woodland creatures? Please say no.
Randy
December 11, 2009 at 4:44 am
whoever said you aren’t nice enough mustve been your mother……or maybe even the Queen Mary J. herself. Someone powerful enough to make you talk about these peeps, especially that ho Karrine Steffans like they DESERVE your kind word. Don’t lie now. Sometimes, the people you named suck. Out loud. And you tell it how you feel. Out loud.
If I want nice and warmed over, I go to Necole B. *which I sometimes do. Since none of these celebrities are your best buds, you keep it real. Don’t stop doing that. Thanks.
P.S. Karrine was on the NY TImes Bestseller list. For that alone, I throw shade at her and her sandpaper yet clearly profitable knees.
Ricky
December 11, 2009 at 11:42 am
God bless you for even coming up with the two sentences you did for Tameka Foster Raymond, cause I couldn’t do it.
Brown Suga
December 11, 2009 at 2:36 pm
I dont think you are mean you just say what most of us feel
babygirlja
December 11, 2009 at 2:57 pm
I think somenone hacked the site, I don’t believe this is Michael. lol
Janee
December 11, 2009 at 3:24 pm
I’ve been incredibly vicious with Ciara, but in my defense much of that had to do with me feeling like she was wasting her potential…among other things. Truth is I still thinks he has potential.
Was that he unintentional? even your subconcious is mean LOL
mellovirgo89
December 11, 2009 at 3:49 pm
OMG you are sooooo mean! *lol*
*whew* that was too funny
I was reading between the lines
and it was a novel Mike….it was a novel…
please tell me why I felt like this was one of your meanest post??
If you have to bust a blood vessel to find something nice to say about that person, it ain’t worth it!!
And the added links to the real shade took off points from the niceness.
don’t change
*lol*
Michael
December 11, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Janee: That was a typo! I didn’t mean Ciara had a penis. Good looking. I corrected it.
Ricky: It was really hard. I should’ve added she’ll be great on the RHOA. Or something.
Brown Suga: Muah!
LOL @ Randy. Yes, it was someone very important to me.
LeeZett: Uh, Shad is kind of handsome to me. Don’t be clowning my taste now!
KayKay: You said it, not me.
I tried, ya’ll!
crystal
December 11, 2009 at 5:10 pm
You done good. Christina’s “Stripped” was great.
Kjen
December 11, 2009 at 6:10 pm
I guess if you ever want to get into the PR game, you like to practice with these “say something nice” posts, but…
Basically, most of the people listed were complimented for you coming to an understanding of how millions of others could, somehow, unexpectedly, call themselves fans, keep these ‘stars’ in the limelight and spend money on their wares.
Hmm. It’s a compliment and yet…
However, if this was a sincere attempt to be nice because you fear others’ are turned off by your acid tongue, I say don’t worry so much. I know where to read artists PR statements pimping their supposed greatness. I come here because I like the witty entertainment and cultural analysis.
Taj
December 11, 2009 at 11:30 pm
Good job, Michael.
As a fellow cynic, I applaud you – `cause I wouldn`t have done that shit. At all. They have fans for that shit, my friend…
MissTee
December 12, 2009 at 2:07 am
Ion’t like the plastic version of you. Keep it 100!
SXSW
December 12, 2009 at 6:49 am
None of the people you blog so tirelessly about know who you are nor do they care.
So go ahead and write as many insignificant little blogs as your ghey heart desires.
It really doesn’t make any difference to anyone’s life.
Michael
December 12, 2009 at 7:57 am
“None of the people you blog so tirelessly about know who you are nor do they care. So go ahead and write as many insignificant little blogs as your ghey heart desires. It really doesn’t make any difference to anyone’s life.”
I hope you feel good about yourself now that you’ve pointed out the obvious. Yes, my heart is gay, duh, it’s a given most don’t know who I am (yet), and you don’t say @ I can write about whatever I want to. Anything else you’d like to enlighten me about? The color of my layout? The time I left this comment? My first name? Gon’ and share whatever other thought you have blowing inside your dense little head.
Thank you for reading and commenting.
lebeam
December 12, 2009 at 10:23 am
☝ahahahahahahahahahaha!
J2201987
December 12, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Funny. I can see that you really tried (to show some restraint) to write positive things about the list of usuals suspects.
Ever since I’ve been reading your blog (March 2009) I never thought of you being mean and to some degree, not even cynical. I just find the things you say to be not hurtful or malicious, but rather some truth that no one wants to hear, especially about their faves. I’m fans of about 3 people on that list (including the one who went on twitter to tell the music industry to “kiss my ass”), but I even find some of the things they do, or say, or how they appear to be in the public eye somewhat irritating, and wish that they would just think before they speak/act/write a diss song/abuse Cockatoos/carry on affairs/swagger jacking. I say, if it is partially in the spirit of the holidays not to throw shade or something you will try again, keep it up.
TJ
December 13, 2009 at 6:27 am
There’s a thin line between cruelty and honesty. I think you’re just honest. You know, truth hurts and all.
TNR
December 14, 2009 at 5:31 pm
Ive been reading your blog every since my sis told me about it. back in 07. I disagree with you on some issues but that is cool. You can’t always agree on everything.
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