The Blog I Was Supposed To Write
So last week’s video blog was not the blog I was referring to when I said a new one was on the way.
As it turns out, I ended up punking out on posting the second one. Why? Because I felt it was too personal, showed me owning up to certain flaws that I still grapple with acknowledging. And to put it bluntly I felt it was too damn personal.
As in: Ya’ll don’t need to know [that] much about me. Then I spoke with a good friend over the weekend and he let me know that he actually saw the other video blog. How? Silly me: Once you upload something to Vimeo, there is the option for people to see all of the other videos you’ve uploaded.
D’oh. Squared.
What was so bad about the video? Well, its accompanying post seem so self-indulgent, superficial, and way too “me, me, me.” Those are all qualities I prefer people who know me personally to come to love and appreciate about me.
Kidding…I think.
But bottom line the post and the video blog addressed something about me that is still tough to correct: How I deal with stress.
After the death of my grandmother and pa-pa in six months, I still had to contend with the fact at the time that I was back at home – a place I never saw myself returning to after graduating from college. Turning down opportunities that I once upon a time dreamed of, coupled with stress from loans and my own huge expectations for self became a bit overwhelming.
I dealt with very adult situations and high stress levels as I kid. I usually took them on with no problem, but after a while, it took its toll – this time, physically.
Ya’ll know my history with barbers. They collectively seem to hate me. Forever ruining my already weird hair line and throwing shade to my once natural curl. Thankfully, the curl is kind of played but I know you feel me. Anyhow, the point of the original post as it was typed was to say that it wasn’t just the barbers anymore – it was me. I was stressing myself out to the point where I started to look smaller and my hair in one spot thinned out. And whenever it would start to grow back either another barber screwed it up or I ruined my own self by overly stressing again.
Someone wrote me a few weeks ago asking if I’ve improved on being stressed out since one post I wrote earlier in the year. Yes and no and I’ll leave it at that.
Anyhow, my hair is not falling out in pieces and I don’t think I’ll need to be purchasing a lace front anytime soon. The men in my family don’t go bald and even if they did I’d probably buy some hair and Elmer’s that shit on my scalp with no shame. What really bothers me the most is that I allowed it to even get that remotely bad at one point in my life.
Now let’s just get this over with. The video isn’t even that big a deal, honestly, but I did get the “hell no” response soon after.
Here it goes:
Actually, I Am My Hair from Young Sinick on Vimeo.
See. I’m a big boy now. And shit.
One day my adopted children from Chicago and Croatia are going to look back on this and laugh as they hand me my brush.
Someone else I enjoy hit me via email and said I seem “perfect” based on my writing. I thought I was pretty good at self-deprecating humor but obviously not. Hopefully this helps.
OK, I expect folks to eventually bring this post up when I say something about someone they don’t like. That’s fine. I’ll clown you all the same.
It’s all good now, though, because I know what to do.
1. Stop going to barbers who think my natural hairline spit on their mama.
2. Chill the hell out. Acknowledge I have high goals but spazzing over not achieving every little detail at light speed is the end of my career.
Woosah.
Hopefully this acknowledgement helps someone versus making me look incredibly…I don’t know, words I wouldn’t want to be describe as.
P.S. I had to shoot this back up video so I might as well share this, too:
P.S. from Young Sinick on Vimeo.
Oh and the bolded parts are links and pictures. You know, in case you missed that. Smile.
Marissa Valdez
December 28, 2009 at 2:05 pm
Totaly love it! So glad I didn’t bypass your Stanky Legg piece on The Root! Then I would’ve missed all your greatness!
Anyway-keep up the good work. Can’t wait to read and/or see more from you. Have a great New Year!
Ratchet
December 28, 2009 at 7:15 pm
I love it! It wasn’t self-indulgent or superficial at all, just… human.
Taj
December 28, 2009 at 7:31 pm
I agree. It wasn`t self indulgent. It was introspective and personal. Yes, you have big teeth. But they are nice and pearly white. You`ll be okay.
When you`re stressed, make sure you eat well, get a lot of sleep, and exercise. It makes a huge difference in your attitude and perspective; every little bit helps when you`re in a rut, you know? Just a tip from another human who has the same issues at times.
Dovie Lee
December 29, 2009 at 12:04 am
I do love your look anyway. You have nice skin and beautiful teeth baby. Stress is a bitch…a very naggy one so ….dont let her keep doing that to you….but its so much easier said than done. YOU ARE NOT ALONE BABY!
BonitaApplebum
December 29, 2009 at 8:53 pm
Thank You God, Thank You Jig LOL Cute!!!
I thought your first video in this post was very down to earth, personable and charming. You didnt’ come off self indulgent at all and I thought the whole “Lets all not go bald because of stress was very humble and possibly helpful, who doesn’t undergo physical transformation when the stress is too much? Whether it be hair, weight, wrinkles etc. So I liked it, you should do more but that script thing could help in the future, just so you can stay focused and not digress(not saying you did but you know)
Oh and your PS video lol Shameless plug but nice!
Shannan
December 30, 2009 at 3:14 am
I love the plug at the end as well, censorship based on funds, it’s the American way! I know you probably don’t need anymore advice on dealing with stress, but as someone who functions the same way (constant worrywart and hold it in until I’m physically sick) I can say alone time with quiet reflection is very helpful. Taking time away from people and all stress related things, just sitting quietly is my own brand of stress relief. Also talking with friends and family, getting some reassurances that life will not end simply because I didn’t conquer the world before my 25th birthday is helpful. Good luck, hun! This is your life and only your opinion and God’s truly count, so do what makes you happy!
P.S.–Writing more may also relieve stress (I’m sorry, no pressure, but I get bored over here in Japan and you are one of my few sources quality entertainment)
Denae
December 31, 2009 at 8:34 pm
MIKEY!!!
Love the videos, keep them coming. I especially appreciate the hair/stress talk as this is my new hobby. I too internalize stress and it manifest itself in my hair and skin, so I’ve been try to take it very easy. Prayer helps. Quiet reflections helps for a while until I start to feel like I’m wasting time.
Keep doing you, make sure your eating healthy and taking a multivitamin. I’m also going to try to take a supplement for hair, skin and nails from GNC…I’ll let you know if this helps at all.
Peace, blessings and a tranquil New Year!
Love ya!
And P.S. —> That was the best part of the post!! LMAO! I mean LMBO, tell whoever is cutting you a check (its going to happen soon, I can feel it), I will sensor myself as well!