Has The Funk Finally Hit The Fan?
You all will have to excuse me for being late on watching this Nightline segment.
It’s not that I hadn’t heard about it. Oh…I did. How could you not when most of your friends are black women and you have an Internet connection? So I knew about it, but to be blunt my initial reaction to the report was, “What that got to do with me?” That’s such a selfish and shade-filled response, I know. But hey, I got my own problems!
The narrative is always Black women have standards that are way too high at a time when most black men are in jail, alcoholism treatment programs (hey, Amy), unemployed and undereducated, chasing Lady GaGa’s less eccentric little sister or into the Notorious P.E.N.I.S.
So yeah, I didn’t bother watching it. That is, until a few minutes ago. Now that I have watched it, I only have this to ask: When the hell did Steve Harvey become a relationship expert?
What? You thought I was about to engage in a debate about why so black women will likely die unmarried? I don’t control the education system, the prison system, nor am I a magician. Even if I could get married chances are I won’t either so I’m only good for a hug and possibly a semen sample to create a child in this debate.
I know I’m not qualified to help, but now I wish I were because I feel sorry for black women seeking advice from Mr. Steve Hightower.
I had to pause and rewind the clip when I heard the narrator say “comedian turned relationship guru Steve Harvey.”
I’m vaguely aware of Steve Harvey penning some national bestseller about women needing to remix their line of thinking in order to snatch a man. However, I thought people put as much stock in Harvey’s line of thinking as they did Khia when she dropped “Snatch The Cat Back” and “Get It & Go.”
You mean to tell me you all have turned Steve Harvey into Dear Abbey? Heavens to murgatroyd. That sounds just as wrong as seeking advice on how to hone a talent from a Kardashian. This isn’t meant to sound like a slight to Steve Harvey personally; just the general idea of a comedian suddenly becoming the go to person to speak on black relationships. What’s next? Will Lil’ Wayne become drug czar?
Folks I’m serious, have we collectively become that desperate? Do we put that much importance into the opinion of an entertainer? Maybe he’s helping people and I’m being too harsh on him. I think Steve is cool, but I never pictured him being pegged a love doctor.
And naturally, Steve offers the same sort of criticism already dominating the conversation. Shame on you women for daring to date someone like yourself. Because you know, no other group besides black women likes to forge relationships with like-minded people.
Ugh, you see that? I almost pulled myself into this debate. Nope, not going to do it. Instead, I’m just about to lead a prayer for my female readers of the highest melanin count.
Some of you may recall me previously saying that for about 45 seconds I once thought to become a priest. Obviously, that’s not going to happen. And while I definitely missed church today, last week, and the week before that, I still send BBMs to God so I think that makes me still qualified to put some helpful thoughts in the sky.
Dip your head a slight bit and indulge me.
Dear God,
Before you even think it, no this prayer is not about me whining yet again that you keep sending confused Jesus jocking trolls to me as a joke. This is for my friends on the other side of the genitalia divide.
Now Lord, I’m not even about to pretend with you that the plight of the single black women is about to magically change over night. Shoot, it probably won’t even change for another generation or two.
I don’t know why you’ve allowed it to become even more difficult for black females, but I’m surely hoping the big pay off will be something spiffy. They sure do deserve it.
As they sat for their rewards in the meantime, I’d like to ask this: Can you at least give black women a break?
Steve Harvey, God? For real?! That’s who you want dishing out advice to them. Weren’t you the one all picky about false idols and prophets?
You couldn’t have even let your BFF, Oprah, in on the debate? At least she would elevate the discussion a little bit?
Clearly women are becoming desperate, and it would be awfully nice if you put some wisdom and guidance into someone else. You know, so they could at least have two “relationship gurus” making TV appearances. We normally only get one (we’ll discuss that later) and if Steve Harvey is all women are getting, then God, that’s just mean. Old testament mean.
Please throw them a bone. They tithe the most.
Amen.
P.S. If you would like to replace Steve Harvey’s name with “Pepa,” I totally understand.
iman
January 10, 2010 at 10:02 pm
haha old testament mean. preach!
Cooper
January 10, 2010 at 10:37 pm
Maybe I’m being a little bias, but I really don’t like Steve Harvey. Due to him lying about his hair (he’s been wearing a lacefront all these years) and him marrying three times (two marriages failing because of his infidelity) his advice on anything related to cultivating a healthy relationship between two adults has no value. I don’t know why anyone with common sense would rely on such a loud and arrogant person for advice.
Christian
January 11, 2010 at 2:20 am
YES!! Cooper is dead on and so is Mike. Why are women taking advice from this man? He knows nothing about relationships. Every time someone asks him a question he answers with an objective common sense response that anyone could give with the facts at hand OR turns the question into a punchline…why you ask? Because he is a COMEDIAN. That’s it.
Did anyone else hear Maya Angelou call his show a minstrel show when she called the show to promote something? She said she called and hung up because she thought she called the wrong show. Dr. Angelou couldn’t believe Steve Harvey was cooning on the radio. Well, I can believe it…
FattDoll
January 11, 2010 at 12:19 pm
You talk too much….keep your posts shorter..I get bored halfway!
Michael
January 11, 2010 at 1:10 pm
Thank you for taking the time to read my site, Fattdoll. However, I regret to inform you that it’s highly unlikely I’m going to shorten my posts.
You see the option “Read the rest of the entry” on the main page for each lengthier entry? That is your cue to decide whether to keep going or find something else to read.
If you prefer shorter posts, I suggest a gossip blog filled with lots of pretty pictures of Rihanna. Or a coloring book. That is, if they even still make those. Sorry if I sound rude, but well, you started it.
God Bless!
BStuyboi
January 11, 2010 at 3:56 pm
I think it’s unfair for you to judge him like that. I just don’t think it’s fair at all for you to say just because Steve Harvey as you know him is just a comedian or in your view unfit to give relationship advice you think he can only ever be a comedian. Obviously he sold a lot of books so he must be doing something right(debatable, obviously lol). I see what you’re saying in your post. However, to me, for you to say just because he’s X he can’t also be Y, just shows close-mindedness, IMO.
Michael
January 11, 2010 at 4:10 pm
Actually, B, when I wrote this:
“And naturally, Steve offers the same sort of criticism already dominating the conversation. Shame on you women for daring to date someone like yourself. Because you know, no other group besides black women likes to forge relationships with like-minded people.”
I actually took the time to listen to what he has to say — in the video anyhow. And following the post, I looked at an excerpt of his book and as I said in the post, it seems like he’s dishing out the same cookie cutter surface level feedback that doesn’t really advance the debate. It merely regurgitates the same old talking points with a punch line.
I’m not limiting him as a comedian; I’m just curious as to how a comedian that’s seemingly brought nothing new to the table gets instantly pegged as some sort of guru.
Steve Harvey sold a lot of books because he’s an entertainer with a radio show who wrote about a popular topic. And selling a lot of books doesn’t mean anything. Glenn Beck has sold a lot of books. I still think he has about as much insight as dog shit on the sidewalk.
As for limiting entertainers in general, no, not so much. I like Al Franken and I’m happy he’s a Senator. At the same time, though, Franken has been writing about politics for years and made a gradual transition for public entertainment figure to publicly elected official.
So yeah, him being a comedian doesn’t mean he can’t be some relationship expert in theory. I just find this quick transition odd.
I think Cooper and Christian both add solid points to the debate also. I mean really, where did this come from?
Thank you for your sharing your perspective!
MzVirgo
January 11, 2010 at 8:06 pm
Steve Harvey just got lucky with that book and now all of a sudden he’s a relationship expert? GTFOH!
This man has been divorced like 2 or 3 times, why would any woman, black, white, whatever, take advice from a man who has been divorced that many times?
It’s common sense. If we keep giving it up on the first date, or settling for the first man we see, or looking and acting like Nicki Minaj, is it any wonder why we don’t have a man? It’s not because men are “intimidated” by our “success”. It’s because we keep making the same mistakes over and over and not learning from them. And we keep picking out the wrong ones who “have potential” of being a good man.
In conclusion, Steve Harvey, or any other book, doesn’t need to tell me to “act like a lady and think like a man”. The demographic for his book is mostly older women. Same for his radio show, older women and men. He needs to stick to stand up comedy and being “saved” by the “BET Celebration of Gospel”.
Dr Kiti
January 11, 2010 at 9:31 pm
Question: why are we still chasing Black men?
I don’t understand. I mean, I get the part about how beautiful Black love can be; my parents are Black, still married, yadda yadda yadda. What I’m missing is that part where, even though we ladies are aware of these statistics and even though not a day goes by where a sista doesn’t throw shade on an interracial couple, we are still sooo unwilling to cross the color divide.
Why?
When God created Adam and Eve he didn’t put restrictions on color. Hell, even Moses was married to a sista! I hate to see such beautiful educated women working so hard and still without a good man who appreciates them (no matter what color). A long time ago I gave up on being color struck and decided to pursue happiness and fulfillment which doesn’t always come in the darker shades of brown.
By the way, being with men who fall into the category ‘other’ has it’s high points: they work oh, so hard to live up to the mythical standards that Black men have set when it comes to the get down. They also take constructive criticism well too
FattDoll
January 12, 2010 at 8:25 am
Michael, I didn’t mean to start a bitch-fest with you. Just being real…rambling on and on is not It! I love your cynicism but u need to get to the point…I thought men hated women who talk alot..No???
Oh and criticism is good..you need to learn to not take everything personally.
FattDoll
January 12, 2010 at 8:27 am
Oh…and BTW…God bless you more…twinkle toes…rainbow kisses and sunshine hugs to you.!
CShanelle
January 12, 2010 at 11:20 am
FattDoll perhaps you should only follow him on Twitter. Sheer entertainment in 140 characters or less. VERY concise.
Michael
January 12, 2010 at 11:22 am
BStuyBoi gave criticism and that was fine. I can’t imagine why anyone would take “you talk too much and you’re boring me” personally. Some people have said my posts were too short; others like you say too long. Either way, I let you know that if you want to read something shorter on here you have the option. You still do.
Veronica
January 13, 2010 at 5:56 pm
“Please throw them a bone. They tithe the most. ”
You’re a mess! Lol.
And I’m not touching Steve Harvey. I threw out the last magazine that arrived at my house with him on the cover.
That is all.
Veronica
January 13, 2010 at 5:57 pm
Also… “please make your posts shorter” = “words make my head hurt.”
I thought this was was rather brief. Finished in like, 90 seconds.
*kanye shrug*
BStuyboi
January 13, 2010 at 10:46 pm
Thanks for responding, and now that I’ve read your comment I realize I didn’t understand why you felt the way you did, so thanks for clearing that up. Keep up the great writing.
Lisa
January 15, 2010 at 12:11 am
Steve Harvey is full of shit. “All yall fine! Maybe you need to date a older man” Nigga please! If you ask me, he’s setting up for wife #4. SMT.
d b
January 22, 2010 at 11:15 am
LMAO i think i like these comments more than the article. i didnt kno steve wore wigs and was married 3 times. and quite frankly, if u dont like what mike is saying then click the next link, duh.
@wizardofoz321
February 4, 2011 at 9:53 am
Pardon my tardiness.
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Lisa
January 15, 2010 at 12:11 am
Steve Harvey is full of shit. “All yall fine! Maybe you need to date a older man” Nigga please! If you ask me, he’s setting up for wife #4. SMT.
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My sentiments exactly. He needs to gone on.