Back That Azz Up
Do you want a bigger booty the caption of this video clip asks? Are you tired of your life being described as, “Boys don’t make passes at girls with flat asses?” If so, the makers of Dime Curve Buttocks enhancement have the “solution” for you.
And by solution, I mean something that just may turn your ass cheeks green and lopsided.
I saw a link for this clip in my comments section. Apparently my spam blocker has its limits. No matter, because this is just the type of foolery to start your day off right (or greet you in the afternoon – I am West Coast based now, ya’ll).
Be sure to watch the clip because I want somebody’s off brand medical expertise to enlighten me.
According to this fauxmercial, you buy their magic pill and – bam – soon you’ll be able to use the phrase “chew this ass” and not be met with obnoxious laughter.
How does that work?
Is their cornbread in that mixture?
Better yet after you stop using this “medicine” what happens to your two fuller frames? Does your ass just deflate the day at your strip club try out?
Wouldn’t that be tragic?
As you can see my questions grow almost as fast as your ass is supposed to if you use this product.
I can’t say that I completely fault anyone for wanting to boost the booty. These days it’s so necessary. Still, I have a hard time believing a magic pill is the answer.
Or essentially buying your cakes a push-up bra. I keep seeing this commercial and I’m more dumbfounded each time. I suppose this is much safer than using a turkey baster full of Crisco like the trannies and project chicks, but c’mon nah.
Ya’ll are making me nervous. Who should I blame for this? Nicki Minaj? Amber Rose? Omarion? I can’t say that I’m a breast man unless it’s on a heated wheat bun with shredded lettuce, mustard, and maybe cheese (I’m lactose intolerant, I have my limits) so I get the power of the b-o-o-t-y, but like I said this all seems “interesting.”
If any reader here has bought or plans to purchase this please share your story. I promise I’m not using you the crash test dummy of ass answers. I’m just curious is all.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to hit the Stairmaster and think of some ways to make money off folks.
Babygirlja
January 14, 2010 at 1:44 pm
I think I’ll stick to some good ol’ squats and lunges because there is no cream to make your ass bigger, you’re just gonna end up with a nasty ass rash. That Booty Pop commercial has me laughing every time I see it because it looks fake as hell.
Off Topic: Mikey please tell me you watch Modern Family. It is hilarious and I know you’ll think so too.
Dr Kiti
January 14, 2010 at 3:23 pm
Too funny! I used to go to school w/ a chick that bought the booty panties and they actually looked good, like the commercial.
Michael: I hate the stairs. I just moved into a house with stairs and my ass can now devour my entire city. My ass was dangerous before but it’s just vicious now. I always recommend squats (that’s what homegirl from the “I like the way you move” videor said) but I’m starting to add in stairs. Martin’s Mama wasn’t playing when she called Gina ‘muscelbutt’!
Laureli
January 14, 2010 at 6:20 pm
Its a pill not a cream. Honestly I feel much more suspect about taking a pill than using a cream, and I’m used to my lack of ass, so ill just live with it. I really want to know what happen after you stop taking those pills though.
Michael
January 14, 2010 at 6:53 pm
Noted, Laureli. I had more fun with cream than pills, though.
tsagrednerp
January 15, 2010 at 11:46 am
Being of the glutteous not-so-maximus (minimus in fact) I find the pill distrubing and the booty pop panties laughably ridiculous. I love the commercial though, it my fave thing to watch on tv. Long live booty pop panties!
Mia (Lioness)
January 16, 2010 at 10:43 pm
I think its just something you are born with, and most women with big butts have the big thighs to go with them and the zero bust up top,( like yours truly) I think people are never satisfied with what they have because I would gladly trade my cakes to be able to put money down my cleavage without having it fall out the bottom of my top, so seeing this video about getting a bigger butt makes me more appreciative of my homegrown cakes!
tee-hee!
PS. Those women with those freaky azz implants, I’d love to see them when they are elderly.
yours truly
January 18, 2010 at 5:54 am
I want to see someone chronicle their booty journey on youtube for that Dime Curves mess. Someone like Kate Moss or one of them other bag-of-bones chicks.
LMAO at the Booty Pop. I blame Coco (for Ice T) and Angel Lola Luv for this madness.
TNR
January 28, 2010 at 5:12 pm
Well Dime curves must be doing something right cause they have plenty of before and after pics on their website.
Tamala
February 10, 2010 at 12:08 am
Well its not just Dime Curves you have other companies out there too.
Curvier You ( CurvierYou.com)
BBB Formula ( BBBFormula.com)