Back That Azz Up

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Do you want a bigger booty the caption of this video clip asks? Are you tired of your life being described as, “Boys don’t make passes at girls with flat asses?” If so, the makers of Dime Curve Buttocks enhancement have the “solution” for you.

And by solution, I mean something that just may turn your ass cheeks green and lopsided.

I saw a link for this clip in my comments section. Apparently my spam blocker has its limits. No matter, because this is just the type of foolery to start your day off right (or greet you in the afternoon – I am West Coast based now, ya’ll).

Be sure to watch the clip because I want somebody’s off brand medical expertise to enlighten me.

According to this fauxmercial, you buy their magic pill and – bam – soon you’ll be able to use the phrase “chew this ass” and not be met with obnoxious laughter.

How does that work?

Is their cornbread in that mixture?

Better yet after you stop using this “medicine” what happens to your two fuller frames? Does your ass just deflate the day at your strip club try out?

Wouldn’t that be tragic?

As you can see my questions grow almost as fast as your ass is supposed to if you use this product.

I can’t say that I completely fault anyone for wanting to boost the booty. These days it’s so necessary. Still, I have a hard time believing a magic pill is the answer.

Or essentially buying your cakes a push-up bra. I keep seeing this commercial and I’m more dumbfounded each time. I suppose this is much safer than using a turkey baster full of Crisco like the trannies and project chicks, but c’mon nah.

Ya’ll are making me nervous. Who should I blame for this? Nicki Minaj? Amber Rose? Omarion? I can’t say that I’m a breast man unless it’s on a heated wheat bun with shredded lettuce, mustard, and maybe cheese (I’m lactose intolerant, I have my limits) so I get the power of the b-o-o-t-y, but like I said this all seems “interesting.”

If any reader here has bought or plans to purchase this please share your story. I promise I’m not using you the crash test dummy of ass answers. I’m just curious is all.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to hit the Stairmaster and think of some ways to make money off folks.

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