10 Reasons To Hate Plies’ Brand of Medicine

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If I haven’t mentioned it before, I can’t stand Plies.

As I wrote previously, he talks like his tongue suffered a stroke. If that weren’t bad enough, he’s got the nerve to be a fraudulent goon – as if he bragging about being a real one weren’t bad enough.

But, to his credit he’s not completely annoying. He encourages people to go to school, has a scholarship fund and the like. It’s too bad his music encourages education about as well as a pointy rock being used as a pillow promotes comfort.

Speaking of his music, I hate much of it. I can’t get over that trillest slave flow of his. I’ll admit he has some catchy songs (like two) – namely “Medicine” featuring Keri Hilson.

Her hook makes me like the song – awful metaphor and all. Unfortunately, this video is like an encouragement to abandon health care reform and reminds me that I need to put up a Craigslist ad for Plies’ massa so he can put his ass back to work and stop irking my last nerve.

Here’s the video and 10 reasons why it sucks.

Enjoy (me…not him):

1. This Negro (no Harry Reid) is still talking like slavery ended three weeks ago knowing damn well he could be Akeelah’s spelling bee coach.

2. If you’re going to go with the gimmick of being a hospital and playing doctor, why wouldn’t you throw on some scrubs? C’mon nah, Plies, we know you used to be a nurse’s assistant. Obviously you still have some scrubs lying around.

3. What the hell does Keri Hilson have on and why is she wearing it in a hospital hallway?

4. Keri Hilson’s dancing. Keri is a cute girl with some catchy songs, but she proves you can’t write rhythm. No wonder she throws shade at Beyonce: It’s her fault the labels force every contemporary R&B singer who can’t really “sang” to pop, lock, and drop it.

5. Wait, rewind. Did Keri just say something about a pap smear? Is that supposed to be sexy? That’s the equivalent of Adam Lambert offering to perform a prostate exam. Not sexy. Stop it.

6. The actress in the bed with Plies is awful. If I wrote the treatment rest assured her non-acting ass would’ve been playing “Dr. Kevorkian” with Plies.

7. Did they really insert an “in stores now” caption in the video? Have we sunk that low, recording industry?

8. What’s good with the girl who looks like she just got out of bed? I’m talking about the girl in the scene with the Asian girl who looks lost. I can tell which one’s fake sexy face is worse. Neither could even get a free piece of dark meat from a horny teen at Church’s with those come hither looks.

9. Actually on half a second look (I couldn’t bear watch this bullshit twice), all of the acting is bad in this video. Couldn’t these folks at least have tried to watch a few minutes of Grey’s Anatomy before going on set?

10. All of it.

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