Monday, January 25, 2010
3:50 PM

Hit It To The Beat

I’m seriously beginning to question whether my blog readers love me. This song has been out for at least a year and I’m only now just finding out about it? What gives, folks? Is this punishment for not blogging enough?

To make matters worse, this song is obviously from Baldamo. One of my best friends is from Baldamo, but do I get a heads-up? No. I thought you were my dog “doug,” man.

Before I go any further I’ll at least say it’s nice to know there are songs out there that don’t discriminate in who gets to twirk to them. A lot of songs only call for a certain aesthetic to jig along. But with “Hit It To The Beat” you can be any size, any complexion, and not have a lick of rhythm in you yet if you’re willing to bend over, hey, this one’s for you.

People coming together under a shared disinterest in maintaining any sort of decorum in a public setting whenever an an overtly sexual song starts blaring from the speakers: My country ’tis of thee.

Oh and I must say I appreciate the lyric, “‘Take the condom off? @#$%! outta here!”

Good to know in a metropolitan area flooded with mysterious rashes, bumps, urinal burns, and fledgling immune systems there are still people out there aware of sexual health.

That said, I think my left eye just caught chlamydia from watching this.

This video was posted under the heading, “WHERE ARE THE PARENTS?”

To answer their question: Probably at the whole in the wall doing the same damn moves to “Doo Doo Brown.”

I want to join in the chorus that this type of dancing is a bit much, but then I quickly thought about my own dance antics over the years. Would I be a hypocrite if I said this is way too much even though someone once described my dancing as, “Yeah, Mike, you dance like the first of the month and rent is due?”

Maybe so, but in this instance, I’ll be that. What’s going on in this video is way over the top.

I may have swung under rails, broke a couple dozen people off, used a fence inappropriately outside of a club around 5:00 a.m., and dropped it in a kitchen during a house party over the weekend, but I can’t say I’ve ever done anything like this at a club.

These folks are literally fucking on camera inside of a club. And even if I did simulate sex while dancing, it was very likely it was with a women and ya’ll know that doesn’t count. I get the feeling if I were standing inside of this house of hoe shit I’d notice a lot of dents in the wall, a poodle in select spots, and a smell that would probably ruin my after club appetite.

That means unless you’re getting paid for this (not that I condone prostitution, but I understand the recession has brought out the Nevada in people) and are at peace with your local free clinic and/or gynecologist, I can’t and you shouldn’t either.

P.S. If you have the mp3, you should still share it, though. I mean, I still don’t think you should be on all fours having pound puppy sex in public, but I do like club music sometimes.

Labels: jig, you need more people
The Cynical Ones.
posted by Michael at 3:50 PM | 10 Comments

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