They’re Making It Hard For Me

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I had it all planned out. I was going to write a blog about snobbery. How wrong it is, how even I sometimes slip up and engage in behavior unbecoming of someone who wants everyone on the planet to love me and throw their money behind my work, and why we all need to take a little step back and give people the benefit of the doubt. Or at the very least, try to be more understanding.

And then I read three stories this morning that have me revisiting my argument. Not that it’s changed, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t just tempted to start a “Damn You Dumb Asses” t-shirt line.

The first story details how Tisha Campbell’s sister has named her new born baby Nina Minaji Campbell.

Really? Nina Minaji? You all know by now that I’m a recent Nicki Minaj convert, but the only thing that I can think of that can be named Nicki Minaj is a foo-foo puppy or a drink. If sprinkling Louisiana’s Hot Sauce over her child’s birth certificate weren’t bad enough, the baby was born four months early because Tisha’s sister Tiara was stressed out because the father of her child, Diamond Smith from Pretty Ricky, is denying paternity.

Before you even ask, yes, Diamond is that man’s legal name.

So in sum little Nina Minaji is the allegedly the spawn of a man with a female stripper’s name and likely won’t be able to prove it until her mama can book an appearance on Maury.

In no way do I think I’m better than any of these people because I’m not, but dammit if that story doesn’t make my eyes pop, lock & drop it.

And in the spirit of racial unity let me shout out the white people who just made me want to fly back home and burn my degree in journalism.

According to a new poll Fox News is the most trusted television news network in the country:

A Public Policy Polling nationwide survey of 1,151 registered voters Jan. 18-19 found that 49 percent of Americans trusted Fox News, 10 percentage points more than any other network.

Thirty-seven percent said they didn’t trust Fox, also the lowest level of distrust that any of the networks recorded.

There was a strong partisan split among those who said they trusted Fox — with 74 percent of Republicans saying they trusted the network, while only 30 percent of Democrats said they did.

CNN was the second-most-trusted network, getting the trust of 39 percent of those polled. Forty-one percent said they didn’t trust CNN.

My eyes. They’re burning.

Fox News is the home of Glenn fucking Beck, the television equivalent of a way too verbal schizophrenic living under the bridge. Then again, according to another new poll he’s the second most beloved person in television behind Oprah. This is the country who elected George W. Bush twice. He made it seem like Jesus hand picked him to be President and voters fell right for it. Maybe I need to act more like someone with mental illness. I’d probably be a New York Times best-selling author by now.

What in the hell is wrong with people? Don’t even bother answering because I get it.

In the partisan culture cable news and politicians have created more and more people would rather you simply tell them what they want to hear versus giving them neutral news coverage that might require them to actually think and formulate their own opinions.

That and Fox is far more convincing in telling viewers that they are the real objective ones and everyone else is lying. Marketing matters and perception is reality. I get it, but it still makes me want to scream, “Fuck yo couch!” And your Nielsen box.

And as soon as I thought it couldn’t get any worse:

I see this PSA for a pick me up.

Edit: I’ve since found out this video is a joke. It’s not that I don’t get satire. It’s just every sad little video I see online always seems like satire, but turns out to be dead serious. So I’ll take the L on this, but I do worry some fool is still going to look at this video as the perfect instructional guide on how to perfect the art of wearing visible signs of self-hatred.

So just in case, I’m about to head to CVS and hide all of the bleaching cream. After that I’ll go scream a bunch of random nothings outside of ICM like a Black Beck. Let’s see if they sign me up or call the police.

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