Nicki Mirage

It’s time to play another round of “Guess if it’s satire.” Admittedly the last time I tried this I failed. That’s what I get for no longer giving people the benefit of the doubt. Nevertheless the latest contestant in “Is you or is you ain’t a fool?” is Nicki Mirage:

Yeah, she’s serious. Game over. Next topic.

A few weeks back I was having a conversation with a friend and as I tried to stress to her, teenagers, gay men, and now straight women of the more hood variety have all fell in love with Nicki Minaj and thus, it’s only a matter of time before the mainstream crowd jumps on and seals her fate as the first female rapper to matter in nearly a decade.

She countered with claims babies don’t buy albums and that Nicki likely won’t even push gold. But last weekend said friend was in Dallas and noticed a trend. I got a text from that said, “You were right all of these women down here look like Nicki Minaj.” And these days you can’t go to the corner store, turn on television without hearing her coming through the radio, TV or computer speakers. She is everywhere! Not to mention on magazine covers galore.

She countered with claims babies don’t buy albums and that Nicki likely won’t even push gold. But last weekend said friend was in Dallas and noticed a trend. I got a text from that said, “You were right all of these women down here look like Nicki Minaj.”

I don’t lie, folks.

As for this Mirage girl, I think I may let you all handle the clowning. I have yet to file my taxes and something tells me taking digs at people who may or may not be sense-deficient can’t be good for my karma.

Wait, who am I kidding? I can’t help myself.

I won’t talk about the girl for falling for Nicki’s shtick – that’s the point for Nicki and this girl is young, so it’s likely just a phase – but I will note that certain things happen when you only read the title of the Hamburger Helper box to your children.

Some people, such as sexyDIVArichbitch, are for crueler than me and let Ms. Mirage have it on YouTube:

u cant be bad when ya whole room is decorated from Target and ya weave is Grammy which cost $10 a pack(I do hair) bitch dont strive to be a Barbie( a fake plastic white girl) just be a bad bitch…u need more time sweetie

I’d like to point out that there’s nothing wrong with Target. And what does Grammy mean? Obviously not the little statute people want to throw at Taylor Swift anymore.

Anyhow, I along with that bitch who shits on Target might not have the full story. Maybe this person could be an aspiring actress and is using this video as an audition reel with the hopes that she’ll net that starring role in Mama, I Wanna Twirk Something.

Whatever it is, it’s between this girl’s God and her pharmacist so let’s focus on what matters: Me being right.

I can’t guarantee the girl’s sales, but I have a hard time believing Nicki is about to tank. As for those mainstream fans coming along, take note:

That is Michelle Trachtenberg Harriet The Spy/Buffy’s little sister and Dawson, no more creeks and paddles in the car proving they know of Nicki’s existence. I think I love Michelle The Spy now. I would post a video of someone who tapped me doing Nicki’s part on “Lil’ Freak” while I was slightly under the influence of a beverage we’re not going to discuss, but I’m no idiot.

In the meantime, let the record show there’s a good way to play along with Nicki and a much scarier way. Please choose wisely.


  1. Kristie says:

    These little girls need a hobbie. I use to love Aaliyah back in the day but you didn’t see my ass with my bangs in my eye. My older cousins use to love SWV and they didn’t have long ass nails. What ever happen to having your own identity? Sad times man…

    And since when is it cool and desirable to act like a know nothing, laughing idiot all day long?

    Lastly, I liked Nicki Minaj better when she was still rapping on stairs in that Come-up DVD. Youtube it people…

  2. JoshZilla says:

    Micelle Tratchenberg doing Nicki’s verse is giving me LIFE. Go on lil white girl, go!!

    I will admit, I will spit Nicki’s verse on “Shakin it for Daddy”, “Up Out My Face” remix, and “Bed Rock”. Something about her flow, multi-accent and all, just catches me. Now, I ain’t running around town with pink extensions in my hair, bamboo earrings (at least 2 pair), talking with schizophrenic accents, but I’m a Nicki fan. She spits fire, has personality for days, and is the 1st female MC to get people excited about Hip Hop.

  3. linz says:

    *slow blinks at both vids* Speechless at first vid. Second vid…..Guh (yes guh) what IS Dawn(buffy stan) and Dawson doing!?! Dawny wuz gettin that ish too! I’m not of the “hood variety” but Nicki seems to be puttin me under her barbie spell…Her song wit Robin is my jizam! She won’t be getting my hard earned uuuhhh student loan money but she is def not going to flop.

  4. Robert says:

    The first vid – Hot mess.

    Now, I’ll admit….I like Nicki’s verses on songs a lot. Especially “Shakin It 4 Daddy,” lol. I can’t help it. I’ll also admit that my friends and I frequently check the “Nictionary” to use more absurd wording when kidding with each other. I have no shame. Will she sell? Who knows, but you can’t deny there is some hype about her and she has a shtick.

    I checked out a mixtape or two of hers though, and it doesn’t quite carry over to her solo songs, but hey, more power to Harriet the Spy for rapping.

  5. Taj says:

    I think I`m more upset that Mirage is from Philadelphia than anything.

    “Lastly, I liked Nicki Minaj better when she was still rapping on stairs in that Come-up DVD. Youtube it people…”
    — I definitely agree. I thought she was the chick to look out for. But you know what happened since then? She underwent what we Americans call BRANDING. Yeah, now you have Nicki Mirage clones floating around.

    To be honest, I think Nicki is a talented chick who went in this Barbie direction to make her stand out as a brand, and it worked. I think she can rhyme (seriously), but her image turns me off because its so clearly contrived, and plastic, and .. its clearly a facade, an artifice. I like to support artists who are a lot more organic and vulnerable, and I know when they sing, or rap that its coming from a place of honesty, whether in genuinely good lyricism or singing without the ostentatious stage displays and costume or personal experiences. I want what they`re selling to me to matter– and not just in a financial sense.

    …damn, I`m still pissed that chick is from Philly.

  6. sickwitit says:

    the video with harriet the spy and dawson up shits creek was nice, nicki’s the only female rapper that matters right now

  7. Third Eye says:

    So some irrelevant white actress= she’s a mainstream star now lol. White folk watch 106th and read black gossip blog too lol. When the Nickster has a top 5 single on the Hot 100 then I’ll pay attention to her movement. Until then, she’s that chick that be with Wayne.

  8. NUTZ says:

    O.o…idk if I should laugh, pray or cry I refuse to believe that girl is in her right frame of mind a couple of screws are def loose

  9. krissyk says:

    Everything has gotten so generically, dumbed down its ridiculous. I don’t care for this chick, maybe I’m getting to old and I’m not quite 30 yet. But this Nicki Girl does not appeal to me. But I guess I understand why she appeals to younger women and the like. If the Kardashians are modern icons then this girl has real staying power……kinda sad imo

  10. yours truly says:

    that child is so damn tragic. someone needs to destroy her camera, revoke her youtube account and buy her ass a trip to the orthodontist (not everybody can work the front teeth gap). SMH. girls like this are on a fastlane to nowhere.

  11. NubianGoddez says:

    Please tell me that video was a joke?? I was watching that mess like the dude you posted awhile back, drinking from that red plastic cup.

  12. FattDoll says:

    Am convinced that You Tube is the Anti-Christ!

    That was wayyyyyyyy funny..I needed that laugh!..We so lucky to be black. I Loveeeeeeeeeee my race…

  13. Sunny says:

    The girl in the first video OBVIOUSLY has a few personalities.. what was all those names she kept shouting out? She really sucked. lol