Heaux Scripture
Unfortunately, because of the day jobs I’ve had to talk far more about sideline hoes than I’d like to. Even sadder is my observation that more and more people have become more accepting of their positions as backup ass. And then I stumble along this video clip, which makes me want to reach out and spray myself with a can of Lysol.
Yet as much as I want to roast these women for using the Bible to perpetuate the status quo of the sideshow heaux, I have to acknowledge: Uh, she kind of has a point.
It’s another glowing example of how the Bible can be used to vilify one thing (people like me) and celebrate another (hoe shit).
Of course, at the time those scriptures were written the Earth was still flat and there was no Internet. Quite frankly, anything that happens before the Internet only matters so much to me. This is a glowing example of why.
These women are using scripture and science to pacify the cheating man. Clearly, somebody’s daddy didn’t hug them enough. Nor did anybody’s mama say, “You know, you can do better than him.”
It’s a cop out plain and simple. I also find it strangely ironic that these women are using religion to justify their sexual activity. Sexual activity they shouldn’t be having because as I recall, Christianity forbids premarital humping, no?
Same for masturbation, oral sex, anal sex, or any of those fancy sexual positions the heathens keep raving about. Don’t let me catch one of these girls in the club singing Shawnna.
Regardless of whether or not it’s Biblical to be a bullshitting cheater, why haven’t any of these yaki-down girls chirp, “Hey, what about that AIDS?” Solomon seemingly didn’t have it back then (I’m assuming), but let him live in 2010 with all of those wives and I bet his herpes bumps would be as big as Natalie Nunn’s chin. And I guarantee t his T-cell count would be lower than a Bravo housewife’s credit score.
For all of you out there that pray, can you drop one down to these girls? They need it. So much that I’ll be sending God a BBM after I finish this post.
Speaking of people who need help, can we please turn off the mics of these Tiger Woods girls? I don’t care anymore, hookers. I didn’t really care that much the first time all 92 of you jumped onto the scene to spread the news of you spreading your legs to a married man. The next one that opens their mouths needs a quick swing from Elin. I bet that would shut them up.
Or maybe not as evidenced by the interview John Edwards’ sidepiece gave GQ. The mistress who doesn’t like to be called what she is had the nerve to constantly bring up the word “divine” in an article themed around a woman blowing some man who is married to a woman dying from cancer.
Really, really classy. There’s a crab-infested toilet waiting for you in hell, Rielle Hunter.
I can tolerate people bigging up strippers who went from the poles to the streets of Paris, but I cannot take these women who are nothing more cum buckets having the gall to use religion to excuse themselves. If you’re messing with someone who is attached to someone else, you’re wrong. The natural urge excuse can only go so far. I can’t help it if I’m pro peen but I can control how I behave around them (as in being a hoe, not switching back to something I never was). Same for these women.
Get a life, get a check up, and then go find a man of your own.
As for the men who consistently cheat, you better learn or your toilet bowl is going to think your penis is an Usher song.
Marie
March 18, 2010 at 4:16 pm
God I agree so much. I mean wtf? I don’t know how it for other people, but if I’m drunk I -still- know that I have a boyfriend. So that excuse falls through for me. I hope they all get something that makes them sterile and unintersted in sex, because I don’t want them to spread their aids virus
chelle
March 18, 2010 at 7:57 pm
Quite judgy M.A. I’ve never heard this side of you before:)
Nutmeg
March 19, 2010 at 2:47 pm
Great post. What separates man from the animals (which we’re supposed to have dominion over, not emulate) is our ability to be bigger than our biology! We (well, some of us, apparently) were blessed with minds, which we should use to be rational, moral beings.
Alex
March 19, 2010 at 3:13 pm
Um. The way they are intellectualizing hoe shit is extraordinary. They seem to reduce men to merely sexual beings. And while our sex drive may be strong, there’s always more to that. If that’s all he gives YOU, that’s all you deserve or demand, apparently. *shrug*
The next question is, Do you DESERVE to be the “main chick”? lol
Misty Knight
March 20, 2010 at 1:02 pm
Good God why does it seem like its only the stupidest of bitty’s that get exposure?
Once , JUST ONCE I’d like to hear an intelligent woman hosting a radio show, the nylon weave, failed attempts at “intellectualism” and the “like” every 2 seconds……who can listen to that shit?!
How can you use the same bible that forbids adultery, and premarital sex, to justify you being comfortable being a second string protein catcher?
Well hell I guess I can’t get that shocked the Bible has been used to justify much worse.
Christian
March 21, 2010 at 3:27 am
“I don’t care anymore, hookers.” Wooowwww LOL…that was priceless…
Interviewer: Can you tell us how you met Tiger Woods?
Hooker: Weeeelllll, his “friend” told me he wanted to meet me after a golf tournament! I was like OMG! I had NO IDEA what he wanted, even though I’m a complete nobody with a brain that can only read words with one vowel! Tee hee! By the way, he’s a dog and I’m blameless!
Charlae
April 9, 2010 at 10:02 pm
I think my favorite part is when the host says women can work on men in a way men can’t work on women, and referenced Adam and Eve. I’ve seen the light.