Only a week ago was I reflecting on fond memories about old Cash Money concerts, particularly the Ruff Ryders/Cash Money joint tour.
At the time, I was still really really trying to convince my penis that it could enjoy the taste of Starkist over the rainbow. The Cash Money crew assisted in these efforts by bringing out random women with no self-respect to hop on stage and shake their ass for free. If you’re wondering, yes, had they at least been shaking ass for money to pay the tax man I would be way more understanding.
In any event, based on those old tours I thought I had seen it wall — including vaginas with walls reminiscent of the one in Berlin.
Clearly, I am mistaken.
Never have I ever seen a mother-daughter coochie pop combo on stage. I can’t say that I’m surprised that it took place in my hometown. It’s even less surprising that Too Short is serving us this generational heaux off.
Considering that only a couple of days ago was I dancing to this same song in my car tipsy in Vegas (I was celebrating my birthday, I was within my right) I don’t knock the song selection. However, couldn’t they have saved this for a more appropriate event? Say an after Christmas dinner dance?
I mean, I’ve gotten my auntie’s to jig to Beyonce after we finished celebrating Indian murders and Jesus’ birthday, but I definitely held back on some of my routine. For example: When I want to swing under a rail and then drop to the ground I save that for the club and “Gimme More.”
Not with my people on camera.
I’ll be damned if you ever see me doing a dick dance with my pops on stage.
And you know what, even if Mama Sinick can secretly get low I don’t want to know that. That’s just wrong. Let’s keep our p-popping, separate.
Or maybe I’m being prudish. That’s fine, I’ll be that because these two look like a Maury episode waiting to happen. If your mama will try to out twirk you on stage, she’s probably not above trying to out sex your man.
Watch your back, daughter. Mama’s knees make me suspicious. As does letting Too Short call her own child a bitch and saying if he were her step-daddy he’d fuck her. Sounds like a former PTA president if you ask me.