Khia Wants To Be Punished

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Has your mouth ever watered at the thought of putting Khia over your knee and spanking her into submission? Yeah, mine neither so thanks for killing a lot of people’s fantasy, Khia. I’m kidding, people who record anthems like “Snatch The Kat Back” (a classic if there ever were one) obviously have a following somewhere.

I’m not mad…completely anyway.

I think it’s pretty evident that Khia’s been studying Lady GaGa and late night call girl commercials. She comes out dressed like the inside of a┬ákaleidoscope. That’s innovation, baby. Katrina LaVerne, step ya cookies up.

And while it’s turning my penis into plato, I like how she then quickly ventures off into the lost sit of “Lap Dance.”

Speaking of laps, I recognize model Lamar James from Harlem Heights. Don’t ask me how I know his government. Let’s just say I’m a fan. A big enough fan not to hold his previous comments about HBCUs against him.

For those mad at her budget, try to be happy for her: For once, it actually looks like she has one. Khia has come a long way from showing up at a family BBQ with a camera man and swaying her hips from side to side by the pit the way she did in “My Neck, My Back.”

For anyone else I’d be easily swayed into calling this a fail. But, I’m not going to discourage Khia after she spent all the time watching Top Model and learning how to smize. And low key Khia has some nice songs in her catalog. If I can get the image of Khia in her nana’s church hat and old pair of Mardi Gras tights out of my mind, I think I might sing this late at night when no one can hear me.

For better or worse I’m going to remember this video and song for at least two weeks. That’s mighty impressive in an era of music where I can forget I’m watching a video less than thirty seconds into it. One slow clap for you, Khia.

And before I leave, let me just say that I never noticed it before until this video but there’s something about Khia that reminds me of Mother Winslow in her younger years. I think Henry Louis Gates ought to check their family trees and make that connection.

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