Shut Up & Sing

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There’s something about Christina Aguilera that grates my last nerve. It’s a pity, too, because outside of her last album, I’ve spent plenty of dollars on her projects. However, her undying need to try to convince others that she is some sort of feminist who is gyrating and thrusting her vagina into the camera in the name of freedom is annoying as hell.

She’s been singing this same song for about eight years now. We get it, X-Tina: You’re “dirrty,” you’re nasty, you like to hump people at random. Or better yet, you watched a whole lot of Madonna videos and you find that super duper cool. I understand, Chrissy — you’re not the only one who watched the “Erotica” video and became inspired to turn off your night light and practice junior-level hoe shit in the dark.

Yet, stop making your antics out to be more than what they are.

I must have missed out on the “controversy,” but apparently Christina felt compelled to speak out on her new video.

As she explained to Access Hollywood:

“Mama still has to be me. I never claimed to be a cookie-cutter soccer mom. That’s all good for some people. Not for me.

He’s going to grow up in a household where he knows mommy expresses herself artistically and some of that will have to reflect itself sexually too at times. He’s going to learn to respect the fact that women are allowed to express themselves and not feel shameful about their bodies or their sexuality.”

To quote a good friend of mind: “Girl, bye.”

Seriously, I know I might come off prudish at times but I swear explicit sexuality doesn’t bother me in the least. I am a huge fan of both Madonna and Janet and much of each artist’s respective catalog should have come with a map to a free clinic.

When I’ve criticized Janet about her exploiting her sexuality to death I’m more bothered by the fact that she’s using sex to deflect from the fact that creatively, she has nothing new to offer. She started to rely on sex to guise the fact that she was in an artist rut. That made her seem boring and desperate.

Christina Aguilera, meet your present and potential future.

“Not Myself Tonight” is a generic pop song. The video, while visually stimulating, didn’t net the intended reaction she obviously wanted. She boinked inside of a church but the Vatican was still too busy pretending to be mad at Lady GaGa to give a damn about anything she was doing.

As a result, the “outrageous” video (which was actually outrageous 15 years or so ago when everyone first saw it) didn’t save the song from tanking. I guess she didn’t learn her lesson the first time with the “Dirrty” video.

Janet Jackson has proven that you can be sexy singing about abstinence and could make you think about something more than how your ass shifts at the club to a given beat.

Madonna has shown how being a provocateur can take catchy pop singles to new heights.

Christina Aguilera is basically telling us something we already knew under a shroud of fake feminism: Desperation isn’t sexy.

She may very well be a freak-a-leek and gold star for her getting it in as often she pleases. However, being sexy doesn’t excuse mediocrity especially when you were blessed with such a great voice. A voice she’s losing because she is dead set on oversinging at all cost. And someone please tell her to stop adding “ha” after every line she sings live. Nothing is that funny.

And while we’re at it, tell her to just shut up period.

I’ve been reading her recent comments about GaGa and how she’s someone spun it into the media pitting women against each other.

I would like to take a moment to clarify something that has been brought to my attention this morning. It is very easy for comments to be taken out of context and create unnecessary drama-especially between us women. So I would like to tell you all directly so my words can not be misconstrued to sell someone else’s story…I have absolutely nothing against Lady Gaga or any other female artist in this business. I think she is great, and I appreciate any woman fearless enough to go against the norm. She has earned her success with hard work and a clear focus and I have nothing but respect for that.

There is room for all of us on everyone’s iPods.

This is not the first time I have been unfairly pitted against another female artist but it will be the last time I comment on the matter.

“Can’t hold us down….”

With love,


Why is it always the media’s fault?

When she asked about Lady GaGa in 2008 after it was obvious that she was copying a then unknown artist she said: I’m not quite sure who this person is, to be honest. I don’t know if it is a man or a woman.”

Silly me, I thought I spotted shade. Nevermind that she’s had slick things to say about Britney, Beyonce, and Pink over the years.
Oh and even Mariah Carey has the subject of her not so subtle jabs:

Yeah, that media.

I wonder did they cause this, too:

I want to like this girl because she can sing this way:

But she makes it so very hard.

I wish she would shut up with the snide remarks. It comes across as petty and suggests jealously. Or better yet just shut up and sing period.

If only she would sing – good songs – and entertain – without trying to give everyone a hard on in the name of female liberation. Hell, I can even deal with that. So go ahead, Christina, in the next video show your unshaven vagina and say it’s your way of taking a stand against female circumcision. If the song is cool, in the end it doesn’t matter. But, if she keeps offering these half ass offerings coupled with a stank attitude I’m not going to buy it or her.

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