Me, Me, Me On BET

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Another year, another review. I’ve broken down my thoughts on the 2010 BET Awards in 20. Say it with me in a Puff Puff Diddy voice: “Let’s go!”


1. You fools need to stop complaining.

I feel like people often like to regurgitate an opinion time after time because it’s just the thing to do — criticism about the BET Awards/BET is a good example of such. This is such a simple concept to grasp I’m annoyed that I even have to repeat it again.

But, I will: If you don’t like BET, feel like watching the show or any program on the network makes you embarrassed of your race, don’t watch the awards.

You can call it the EBT awards but don’t acting like you can’t spell GED with your basic TV viewing logic.

2. Kanye West was kind of forgettable.

I love “Power” and am happy about a new Kanye album on the horizon; however, ‘Ye standing on top of the set of Happy Feet for four minutes didn’t really do anything for me. He’ll make it right next time. He usually does.

3. Queen Latifah is like Neil Patrick Harris.

When I said this on Twitter people thought I was playing Queen La, but I wasn’t. Didn’t that opener seem very People’s Choice Awards or something one of the two other non-threatening ***’s usually do?

That wasn’t a diss, merely an observation. I love Queen Latifah and overall thought she was fine. Although maybe we shouldn’t do a homage to every black classic every single year. It’s starting to remind me of movie night.

Then again, I would have been ecstatic to see the cast of Living Single reunite.

Oh as for: “Diddy, a man who stays in the company of beautiful women. Much like myself.”

Well alright. Now maybe people will leave her alone (they won’t, but it’s a nice thought all the same).

4. Keyshia Cole’s old weave is back.

This makes me excited about her new album. People can debate how she sounded all they want, I’m just happy last night was Keyshia’s first public appearance post “I don’t fuck with the kinfolk no more” statement.

5. Monica and Deniece Williams love Beetlejuice.

So much that each decided to pay tribute to the costume designer for the film last night. Or as Mama Sinick said in email, “Tell Batman i know who took his hat, Monica wore it as a blouse.”

That is mature shade, folks.

I’m trying to show respect to my elders, but if I were a bit older I’d say Deniece Williams needed a shot of helium last night before taking the stage.

As for Monica, she sounded great as always although it would’ve been great if she started off with her new single, “Love All Over Me.” You know, so people won’t think she’s still on her first single several months after its initial release. Silly indeed.

6. Prince didn’t care for Trey Songz’ cover of “Purple Rain.”

Speaking of mature shade, shout out to Prince’s eyes for sitting sideways once Tremaine decided to randomly burst into his own rendition of “Purple Rain” during his performance of “Yo Side of The Bed.”

As grateful as I am to God, Trey’s trainer, protein shake, stylist, and his mother’s genetic make up for giving the world this gift, sometimes Trey’s voice draws too much inspiration from tremors. Don’t get me wrong, I like his voice. But sometimes, his voice seems to wobble, wobble, and shake it, shake it a little too much.

He just sounds afraid sometimes is all. Like I am now that his stans might put out a hit on me.

7. Drake needs to talk to Laurie Ann Gibson.

I like the guy but he’s boring as a performer. He doesn’t need to pop lock on stage or anything, but goodness, maybe some boom kack would do his stage act some good. If not for Jeezy his set would’ve been sleep inducing.

8. El Debarge is happy.

The last hit El Debarge had resulted in his being locked up so it’s nice to see the man some of ya’ll jokesters call my uncle managing to sing on key, stay on beat, and put on one of the better performances of the night. If you’re wondering, yes, I’m going to pretend that separate performance of his new material didn’t happen. Man, you know Donna nor any of us want to hear that.

P.S. It’s a problem when a man who’s been battling drugs off and on for several years can still manage to maintain a sizable portion of his vocal ability yet singers ten minutes past puberty can barely perform without sounding like a commercial for Halls half-way.

9. Usher blew it.

Lately, Usher has been sounding quite good while performing “There Goes My Baby.” Last night was not one of those times. He should’ve went ahead and performed “OMG.” It’s OK, Usher, massive radio airplay and Will.I.Am’s spell have already made the bulk of us get into the song.

10. People don’t like to be left out.

RT @myfabolouslife: My blackberry & iPhone must b fucked up cuz I definitely didn’t get the we doin the “all I do is win remix”  email or phone call. #Niceeee

11. Chris Brown did well.

I feel like I face certain death if I dare to speak ill of this kid again. Look, I don’t hate this dude. He did well last night. Naturally, it’s easy to be cynical when you see someone cry during a song called “Man In The Mirror” given his last year. However, it’s just as easy to see why he would be genuinely overcome with emotion while performing a song called “Man In The Mirror.”

It’s all about perspective and in this instance, I’d rather go with the positive.

Some people think Chris’ tears made the Michael Jackson tribute more about him than Michael Jackson. I can get that perspective, though I doubt Michael Jackson will haunt Chris Brown in his dreams in retaliation. It’s show business and no one understands that more than Michael Jackson.

Chris did a good job and his performance last night proved that he still fills a much needed void for male entertainers.


12. We don’t need a Britney Spears of rap.

I was disappointed to see Nicki Minaj show up like Wilma Flintstone and give me vintage Britney Spears on stage during her multiple performances throughout the show. Thankfully, she clarified on Twitter that the audience could her hear, but we couldn’t on TV. As she put it, “Shout out to the sound guy.” Apparently it will be fixed on the re-air, but eh, it’s too late.

Either the sound guy is a Lil’ Kim stan or perhaps she was the one Stephen Hill was referring to on Twitter — that is, younger people who don’t show up for rehearsals.

Whatever the case, Nicki still performed multiple times and for any performer that is impressive. Plus, I like the indirect rebuttal she gave Kim and being positive and bringing women together.

Yes, girl, she meant you. No one likes the hating ass auntie, Kimmy.

13. Beyonce can win anything.

While I like the “Video Phone” remix who remembers that video being played for more than two weeks? I don’t, but hey, the Queen won. Let it be known that a good twirk and a Super Soaker can still trounce all so long as a big name is attached to it.

14. Rick Ross gives fat kids hope.

If only I had that much bravado when I looked like a Girl Scout shortbread cookie colored version of the Pillsbury Doughboy. Then again, it’s probably best I didn’t.

I kind of wish he had performed “MC Hammer” with “MC Hammer,” though.

15. Poor Dawn.

When Diddy Puff changed the name of the group to “Diddy-Dirty Money” I knew those two girls behind him were going to get even less shine. He might as well call the group Diddy and the Diddetts. Dawn’s a good performer, a good singer, and her look has improved so I hope that she eventually gets to show people that in a better situation. Oh, and the other one, Kaleena (I just learned her name), had on some cute shoes. Didn’t want to Diddy her in my post.

16. Prince tribute.

I remember seeing Alicia Keys crawl up her piano seductively on the “Ladies First” tour. It was about as believable as a story of a sex tape featuring me and Mrs. Butterworth. It’s even less believable with her pregnant. I imagine that I along with her OBG/YN were both huddled in an impromptu pray circle once Alicia started climbing that piano.

Other than that, I’d have to say her rendition of “Adore” was great. I had my doubts because while I love her cover of “How Come You Don’t Call Me Anymore,” “Adore” is a totally different song in a much higher range. But Alicia did well (much better than her blase medley earlier that evening) and Patti Labelle was everything as usual.

Janelle Monet is such a treat to watch and I really hope her popularity continues to grow. She is so fun and so lively. Oh and the other girl was OK, too. I don’t remember her name though I expect a music snob to scorn me in the comments section about it later. Thank you in advance.

17. Sometimes award shows can survive without Beyonce.

The first half was almost sleep inducing if not for Twitter, but the rest of the show made up for it. The show was as good as one can be without Beyonce — but let’s not make it a habit, please.

18. Keri Hilson lies.

I didn’t see Lauryn Hill last night, did you? Keri looked cute. The Pebbles Flintstone to Nicki’s Wilma, if you will. Still, don’t mention Lauryn Hill’s name unless you know for sure that she will be in attendance. It riles people up too much.

19. Taraji Henson really likes to drink.

Did ya’ll see her drunk ass on the post show? I love my fellow Bison, but c’mon nah. I’d say more but I fear some smart ass might one day write something similar about me.

20. John Legend is better than you.

And don’t you ever forget it, “haters.”

Last night John legend’s hairline was a major focal point of discussion. Well, Mr. Legend took to Twitter to let you know that he didn’t miss it. And that he’s better than you.

As he tweeted:

“Btw, my hairline has been the same since I was a kid. Can’t believe some people are obsessing about it now. I’ve been famous for 6 yrs now. And to the haters, I’m still smarter, more talented, more successful and better looking than u. So fall back. Sorry y’all. Couldn’t believe my hairline was a trending topic. Get a life!”

Well, he sure let some of ya’ll have it, huh. Dude’s got more cat in him than Heathcliff.

As someone w/ a unique hairline since birth I think JL could’ve handled that better. Like: “You wish your barber could be this creative.”

Or: “Haha, ya’ll. Humanitarian activities before haircuts.”

Next time just brush it off, John.

Alright. That’s about it. Until the next show.

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