I know it’s judgmental, but anyone who kicks off a video by addressing people with “mesdames and messieurs” makes me instantly debate whether or not they’re full of shit. Well, anyone minus the folks who were actually born and bred and France and normally speak that way.
Otherwise, you’re just being fancy. And no, not in that cool way like The-Dream or Swizz Beatz and Drake sing about. That has a beat so it gets a pass. This is far more pretentious and thus annoying — like when Regine Hunter’s mama called her out on referring to her fire escape in such a saddity way on Living Single. Those who watched the show know exactly which episode I’m talking about.
Right, that bullshit. Not cool.
As you can see, 12 seconds into this video and I’m already put off by Grace Jones’ twin brother. It only gets worse as I keep watching.
Ya’ll, this man is a Bishop with a pin-up calendar.
Really, man? What do shots of Bishop Noel Jones snorkeling like he’s on location with Sports Illustrated and imitating Derek Blanks alter ego shoots have to do with the Lord?
It kind of seems like he wants to be worshipped a little. Or maybe I’m just a mean ass heathen who’s throwing shade at a man who’s just using what he got to get what he wants — like tithes.
On the YouTube comments for this video, one good Christian woman lets Bishop Grace’s Brother have it:
This man needs to hurry up and get married! He is starting to shamelessly promote himself – JUST LIKE BISHOP THOMAS WEEKS – these men need to get God-fearing women in their lives so they can stop making these DUMB CHOICES and being so lustful!!!
Someone else is even meaner:
Huh? There’s an image of his face on every month?? UGH. I am tired of IDOLATRY & MERCHANDISING in the church. & why is he wearing that shiny-silk white shirt unbuttoned down to his chest? That is nasty.
Probably not nasty to Donnie McClurkin, but I see their point.
From my understanding, like every good swindler Bishop Noel is mighty popular. Not “Pull Up To My Bumper” popular but enough to get many flocking to his pulpit.
Now gon’ tell me: Who among you are yelling Strange and sending your family members copies of this “Divinity Calendar?”
If so, explain to me what exactly that terms means. Otherwise, I’m just going to think it’s nothing more than a clergyman’s attempt at giving his ego a good boost under the guise of good fellowship?
Feel free to drop a little change in my PayPal account if that last sentence helped you feel the spirit.
The other day one of my followers on Twitter mentioned the song “Daddy Stroke” to me saying it’s the kind of song they could see me jigging to. I remember someone vaguely mentioning the song to me months ago but I never got around to listening to it. That’s the problem with being a responsible adult outside of the region with the best dance songs — you miss out on everything. That or maybe I’ve been too busy listening to my Nicki Minaj mixtapes in an attempt to master my fake accent. Spare me your shade in the comments.
Monday marked the fifth anniversary of The Cynical Ones. Surprise, surprise that I’m celebrating the moment days after the fact. Actually, I had no original plans to honor the moment but then I thought about it — it’s been five years. That’s certainly a number worth celebrating, huh?
It is so here I am.
My very first entry was a post about my very first date with a guy. Only at the time I didn’t specify gender because I was still too embarrassed to publicly state something I knew about myself even back in daycare. Ask me about during nap time. Or not. Bottom line, that entry was pitiful. I only keep it up to remind me to never write anything that awful again.
Well, it’s the moment all salty seniors have been waiting for: Their favorite female rapper from yesterdecade has finally, yes finally, indirectly referenced the rapper that their children, younger siblings, and bad ass nieces and select nephews love so much.
For argument’s sake, let me just state that I wouldn’t be surprised if Lil’ Kim came back and showed Nicki Minaj a little love.
At the same time, I wouldn’t hold my breath for that to happen.
Now on to the video.
I like how Lil’ Kim says she’s so above her wig and taking it to another level as she performs a song from 1997.
Granted, it’s one of my favorite songs from her ever, but it’s well over ten years old all the same. If you were that ready to take it to the next level, you would have once things started to slow down a bit. Like several years ago.
But let’s not turn this into a stan war folks, because I happen to really like Lil’ Kim.
That said this clip still comes across as a vivid example on how not to age.
I don’t like it when veteran acts shun those that follow them — especially when those that come after offer nothing but praise for their predecessors. Kind of like the way Grace Jones (who Kim actually has borrowed from) dissing GaGa after GaGa has constantly attributed her aesthetic influences to. To dig at someone who’s complimented you and is a relative rookie reads as tacky to me. Not to mention, it seems really unnecessary.
What’s the point?
Oh, it’s for attention, hence the embarrassing aspect to these type of subliminal disses, too.
I don’t think this serves Kim well at all. In fact, now she comes across as just another female rapper who Nicki Minaj seems to bring the insecurities out of. The Beyonce of hip-hop, if you will. If you claim to not know what I mean by that, I don’t believe you. No, not even a little bit.
If I were Lil’ Kim I would’ve gone about this a different way. She should have reached out to Nicki Minaj and done a song with her. You know, in a symbolic way of passing the torch. Madonna has complimented Beyonce, performed with Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera, and appeared on SNL with Lady GaGa.
Tina Turner has performed with Beyonce. Usher didn’t push Chris Brown down a flight of stairs when he had the chance. See, Kim, it’s not hard.
Not only is it not hard, but it would’ve been a mighty smart thing for you to do.
I’m not trying to be funny when I ask this, but do Nicki Minaj’s fans even remember Lil’ Kim? Her core audience skews very young and given Kim hasn’t had a major hit in years well, you see where I’m going with this.
I think it would be in Kim’s best interest to scratch the beef and record a single with her. That way she can be like Nicki’s cool Auntie to the babies on iTunes.
“Massive Attack” didn’t attack anywhere besides Baby’s budget, but Nicki’s still got so much buzz.
And that seems to be so many other female rappers’ problem, only they should be thrilled about it.
I mean, when’s the last time anyone gave a damn about a female rapper? Exactly so why attack the source of the renewed relevance?
So think about, Kimmy. I think it would be good for you. If nothing else, think of it this way: Foxy Brown will be so mad she didn’t think of the idea first.
A part of me wants to feel sorry for people like Ted Haggard. This is a man who developed an addiction to crystal meth just to avoid admitting to himself that he would rather bottom for his drug dealer than get on top of his wife. He chose to risk contracting Fergie face in order to be able to look at himself in the mirror day in and day out. That is one impressive case of denial.
Let me just say that I would rather use my dick as a tennis racket than hold a conversation with Kat Stacks. Her slurred speech, deluded sense of self-importance that’s fueled by antics that suggests she actually has no self-worth, along with her obvious dreams to be the illiterate world’s answer to Karrine Steffans all irk the living hell out of me.
And don’t get me started on how whatever ass shots she got injected into her have given her what looks like a booty in the shape of a dented mushroom. There are trannies with more believable female body parts. She would know, she uses the same doctor.
All that shade aside, when I saw this video of her being slapped by men thrice her size, I was disgusted. As I’ve made it perfectly clear several times over I do not condone domestic violence so you can imagine how I feel about men assaulting a woman. What sickened me even more was the round of applause these men got from a select group of people.
Well, mainly from other men.
Some people spoke on “karma.” Karma is one of those terms people like to repeat without actually having any knowledge about it. You know, like love, God, friendship, or gumbo.
Kat Stacks being attacked my men isn’t karma. It’s gossip being punished by violence. The end. Stop trying to attribute it to something considered “deeper” in order to excuse your amusement by a defenseless woman being attacked by a man.
What further disappoints me is that based on what I saw on Twitter, a lot of gay men have had a laissez-faire attitude towards a woman being beaten. Or at least, a lot of the gay black men who fill my timeline. It’s yet another glowing example of how misogyny spans sexual orientation — even if that same misogyny is routinely used against gay men.
The men who attacked Kat Stacks did so out of retaliation for her gossip mongering. I get that, but I also think these men felt that because she’s a woman, they think she’s beneath them. It’s much easier to physically attack someone when you think they’re below you. You’re preying on their perceived weakness.
Considering most homophobia is rooted in the hatred of women, it’s fair to say real punks like these men look to people like me to as a punk. I don’t think gay men are like women, but I do realize how often the two are grouped together in terms of how hypermasculinity dictates that we collectively are “less than.”
That’s why I ideally, I’d like to imagine gay men having a bit more understanding about why it’s not OK to beat on a woman. Although the notion of meshing fluids with a female makes my stomach do the jerk, I really do have a great appreciation for women. I totally got GaGa when she told Larry King yesterday, “Gay men never wanted anything from me but my friendship.”
It’s really unfortunate to find there are still many gay men who pick up on the same bad habits of their wannabe hypermasculine supposedly heterosexual brethren. I say supposedly because the biggest irony of this all is, these men were defending someone who often acts about as hard as I would with Kat Stacks in my lap.
Why does it seem like the idiots have higher sperm counts than the rest of us?
Now do you know see why I say some people need to be spayed? Or at the very least, apply for a permit to reproduce? In no way am I knocking this little child. He’s a cute kid who is obviously clever enough to pick up on all of the things the adults around him do.
It’s just unfortunate that all of the things the adults around him do is bullshit that will have him being clowned by a juvenile probation officer by the time he’s in 5th grade. I have relatives who work in this field, trust me, this is little man’s future unless some miracle teacher swoops in with a couple dozen books, a piece of fruit, and a call to CPS.
What type of degenerate bastard would instruct a kid to recite all of that? Someone who needs to swim in an oil spill, no doubt. Wait, that was mean, huh? Oh well, the people respond with this need their asses beat by Big Bird.
I don’t need to go on anymore about how pitiful this is. If you don’t get it in ten seconds after watching this clip, please be sure to microwave your reproductive organs. The warmest setting preferred.
If you’re wondering, yes, I’m dead serious about my initial requests. Can we start some sort of process where people have to apply to have babies? Otherwise the more public schools fail us, the more we’re going to have kids three days off of their mama’s tit (that is, if she even bothered to breast feed…or feed the child period) already training for a life sentence.
I’ll gladly contribute to any scientist who wants to aid me in my keep a dumb ass from crowding the word with another fool fund. I love you, black people, but sometimes I want to put the race on the “do not call list.” You all better be lucky no other race wants to claim me!
P.S. Go send that boy to Disney. Let them give him some lines that will lead to some legal checks.
I like Bill Maher, but in recent years the more he’s opened his mouth the less enthused I have become about him and what he has to say. Although Karrine Steffans’ word is about as reliable as a training bra on Tionna Smalls, I do remember her saying that one issue she had with Bill while dating him is that he treated her as if she were “less than.”
