Girl, Pull Your Panties Up

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I really want to support this girl. I swear, I do. I felt she got a raw deal the first time she made her way on the scene. As I’ve mentioned likely countless times now, she’s attractive and talented — just mismanaged. But dammit, at this point I can’t keep blaming other people.  Perhaps it’s her.

First, I’m not entirely sure why she and her label keep throwing out these random videos. I get that in theory these videos create a buzz and helps keep her name out there. But really, folks, how many people are out there singing any of these songs? She leaks more than a BP constructed pipeline in a poor defenseless ocean. It’s hard to keep up with her material especially when none of it grabs your attention for too long.

That fun fact is likely why she results to videos like these. I guess a visual does go a long way, but really, Teairra? World Star Hip-Hop? That’s not an insult to the site. I go on it each day. It’s like an inside look at car washes on MLK across the country. Yet, when I think World Star Hip-Hop I think ass and assholes.

Is that the kind of outlet you want to plug R&B music on? Every chance you get?!

I imagine the heterosexual men who watch these videos drool with enthusiasm. Unfortunately, these same horny gents would likely tell Teairra and her camp that the pulse she sent to their penises wouldn’t lead to them pulling out their wallets to support her music.

In fact, this is the reaction I imagine most would give to such a question:

If Teairra has some sort of calendar in the works, then bravo, girl, you’re setting yourself up for a nice little paycheck publishing checks probably won’t provide. However, if her aim is to finally breakthrough as a successful R&B artist, this ain’t it. Not even a fraction of it. At all.

For months now Teairra Mari has been thrusting her sexuality at us via pictorials and FlipCam sponsored shoots such as these. Has that done anything for her? Have any R&B singers started shaking in their stilettos (and not in the good way)?

Start making your cricket noises now.

Teairra, c’mon nah. We heard you the first time about not having “no daddy around when you was growing up.” Are you going to keep reminding us? That’s a joke. Don’t shoot me, Detroit.

Here’s what Teairra should do.

1. Pull her panties up.

2. Stop making videos until she has a hot enough song that warrants one.

3. Find some new, young, hungry producers out there who can give her a sound that will help her find her spot in music.

Otherwise, she ought to go ahead and quit. That way she can go ask Tyler Perry if she can play the next sassy teenager Madea bitch slaps on stage and in theaters.

Since I happen to think Teairra is a sweetheart who simply needs a little nudge in a helpful direction, someone copy and paste this to her. I don’t want her banning me on Twitter for constructive criticism branded as “hating.”

Then again, there are worse things. Like eating soap on camera.

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