There Ain’t Nothing Going On But The Rent

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In ya’ll ain’t shit, get out of the race news, one black woman is making headlines for doing her part to keep certain stereotypes about our cousins alive by beating the hell out of her 16-year-old daughter for not paying rent.

Indeed, police have accused 49-year-old Ranay Collins of knocking her daughter nearly unconscious with a cane. She’s also accused of slapping her across the face with an open hand and biting her breasts.

Yes, you read that correctly, this woman bit her own child in her breasts. Why did she treat her child as if she came with honey mustard and a strawberry soda?

Well, as she explained to police: “That bitch owes me $50.00 for rent.”

If you’re reading this from your phone, allow me to explain the cane swinger’s side of things.

She argues that her 16-year-old daughter is out of control. You know, the kind of bad ass teenager that allowed Sally Jesse Raphael to continue collecting checks long after the peak of her talk show. And apparently Bebe’s bastard has a violent streak of her own. She’s been accused of whooping up on her 66-year-old grandmother — scratching her face up and stomping her with her Timberlands.

That’s why Ranay warns, “I’m going to kill that bitch. Next time you come that bitch is leaving in a body bag.”

Oh, it gets better.

Ranay says she never wanted to be a mother (I guess that answers why she never raised her own child) and that her cane swings were the result of tough love. I’m not sure how one can truly show signs of love to someone they obviously didn’t want, but I digress.

Ranay also seems to follow the Saudi Arabian guidebook to dealing with crime.

Via ABC-13 (Las Vegas, these are your people):

“I put my cigarettes in my freezer. One day two packs is missing. I asked her about it. The next day all of mine are gone,” Collins went on to say.

On top of everything, this woman is dating Mr. Newport and/or Joe Camel.

Naturally, Ranay doesn’t think she deserves to be charged.

“She’s a trifling girl,” Collins added. “I said, Brittany you what, just like god punishes me, you’re gunna get punished.”

Now do you all see why I want to launch a national campaign to develop sterilization spray?

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