You’re Like Four, No One Hates You

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I try really hard not to talk about other people’s children unless the comment is prefaced with something along the lines of “that bad ass kid…” Otherwise, I feel like a jackass. So if I see a child at a talent show sounding like puberty being waterboarded, I usually close my mouth tight and hold in the laughter as best I can.

Sometimes, though, you can’t fight the feeling so when you watch a performance like this, you form an opinion. Now, I don’t want to talk about these young girls’ respective talents. They’re young and still in training. I know this because I’ve seen them on Tah-ney and Toy-yuh.

However, this performance made me want to vomit in my mouth a little. Not because of any particular girl’s voice or dance step. No, my disgust stems in what they’re singing about.

Twenty seconds into the performance I’m accosted by the cries of the group: “We got haters! We got haters! Where they aaaa-ah-ah-ah-at?”

Not this bullshit again.

From read I’ve read about the group, their ages range from 11 to 13.

Who in the hell is hating on them? The girl who asked for a cracker from their Lunchable? The hall monitor? Mrs. Johnson for giving out homework? Cliff’s punk ass for not giving them good enough notes to pass the reading exam they didn’t study for?

Tell me, I’m quite curious.

What happened to singing about Iesha? The telephone man? Lucky Charms?

I grew up with kiddie groups like Another Bad Creation and The Boys who actually sang like children. The OMG Girls sound like women — ratchet women who equate pregnancy with a winning lottery ticket.

“My mama told me that the fame would bring out all the haters, busy getting money so I’ll take care of it later.”

This is the sort of thinking that leads to fights at Forever 21 and stabbings in Walmart parking lots. Unfortunately, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that they think so highly of themselves.

Short conversation between me and La:

Me: “I’m mad they think they have ‘haterz.'”

La: “Why wouldn’t they think so? Everyone else does.”

Damn. The woman has a point.

I am so sick and tired of people talking about their haters. “The hater” has essentially become the adult imaginary friend. Most of the people who harp on haters generally only know about seven people and unlikely have no real reasons to be “hated on” anyway.

It’s all riddled in negativity and paranoia and serves as another vivid example of why the government should solve the health crisis that is far too many people lodging their heads up their own asses. People feed off the notion of having “haters” while simultaneously boasting about how much they try to “keep it positive.” This is all stupid, played, and unbecoming — and now we’re passing that nonsense to children.

To these girls and their handlers’ credit, they do have some fans with this.

As Shalonda225 on YouTube writes:

“I luv dey outfits nd´╗┐ I’m their number 1 fan luv dem so much NO HOMO!!!!”

“No homo” is another phrase I hate to the core but I will save that rant for another day.

So yes, Shalonda loves them but I get the feeling if Miley Cyrus and her 12-year-old still undiscovered eventual replacement watched this video they would do nothing more than laugh. KeKe Palmer would probably just bow her head and say a prayer on their behalf.

I wouldn’t want my nieces listening to something so delusional and inherently negative.

The OMG Girlz are cute kids and anything is possible when your parents are famous, but I hope in future recordings they talk about something other than “haterz.” That attention could be directed elsewhere besides some mystical creature that doesn’t exist. I would not be the least bit surprise if the monster hiding under their beds is riddled with jealously.

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