I Need Answers

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1. Isn’t Lady GaGa pop music’s answer to Black Israelites? You know, willing to do and say anything to get you to stop and listen to her?

2. Who else hates being referred to by their Twitter name in public?

3. How much longer do we have before they commit Foxy Brown’s crazy ass?

4. What qualifies Wyclef Jean to be president of a country?

5. Anyone else reserving giddiness over this Lauryn Hill “comeback” out of fear she’ll return to Saturn by mid-October?

6. Do any of you even remember Christina Aguilera’s album anymore?

7. No, really why do people like “Pretty Boy Swag?”

8. When is Beyoncé coming back to me already?

9.Does anyone give a damn about the marital statuses of Chelsea Clinton and Bristol Palin?

10. Why is Nelly still even trying to release music?

11. Unless Justin Bieber is sharing the gut-wrenching tale of how Ellen DeGeneres’ secret semen led to his creation, what can you really learn from his pending memoir?

12. Aren’t Chad Ochocinco and Terrell Owens the Bobby and Whitney of reality TV?

13. Will I ever get Nicki Minaj to sign my clavicle?

14. How about someone hurry and introduce Britney Spears to a quick weave?

15. With news that a 20-year-old man dumb ass killed his 17-month old son for “acting like a girl,” when will it seep into folks’ skulls that black hypermasculinity is dangerous?

16. Don’t we already have several shows that fit the description of The Real Babymamas of Atlanta? Do we need another?

17. I’m never going to stop saying, “I think I’m Big Meech, Larry Hoover,” am I?

18. So people really don’t care about the white dress rule at weddings anymore, huh?

19. Did Usher basically just remake “OMG” and “Lil’ Freak” with his two new singles?

20. In the spirit of Nicki Minaj, I’m speaking in a fake accent at least three times a week. Any suggestions?

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