A Dude’s Right To Dougie

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People have been picking a part how “gay” so many of the current dances look for years now.

In a perfect world, those who feel that silly dances are more potent than DNA in determining one’s sexuality would ultimately change their minds. Or at the very least, fall off into the abyss with the other morons who serve as daily reminders of why the phrase, “Swallow more” should become America’s favorite new catch phrase.

But, obviously we don’t live in a perfect world so my eyes are still marred by dimwitted musings like the following:

THAT f***ING DANCE LOOK LIKE A f*gGOTT DANCE,, I KEEP TRYING TO TELL n*ggaS THAT s*** IS SOME f*gGOT SHHITTTT,,,HANDS ON HIP LIKE A f***ING WOMEN WTF

And:

yeah he killed it for a g*y man…wow…stop with all these g*y dances…if you flamed up..no disrespect handle ya DOUGIE…but stop this s***…grown, young men that are str8..should not partake in this B.S…

And:

YOU KNOW WHAT I BET THIS F@GOTT TAKE IT UP THE A$$ TOO DOUGIE THAT FU(KING, DOUCHE BAG, I WISH I WOULD CATCH MY KID DOING THAT SH!T IN THE MIRROR,,WTF THIS SH!T LOOK LIKE A F@GG@OT WIT TERRETS ,, FU(K OUT OF HERE…

Nevermind chances are these e-thugs don’t even get 1/110th of the women Chris gets.

I’ve even seen similar sentiments conveyed in more articulate fashion (i.e. complete sentences) on Twitter, Facebook, and in person.

I find these attitudes no matter how they’re expressed to be sophomoric, counterproductive, and most of all, dangerous to black men.

To be fair, I understand some of the criticism. I’ve seen many of these dances and yes, some have mirrored dance styles popularized by gay black men. However, I think it’s time we collectively get a fucking grip.

If you sum up a man’s sexuality based on the dougie then chances are you’re paranoid and play into way too many stereotypes. Not to mention you’re very much part of a greater problem.

It’s really sad to find so many people feel that a guy has to walk around holding up his erect dick in the direction of a damp vagina to proof his heterosexuality. And even then, if he dares do anything even a centimeter outside of what’s perceived to be “normal” male behavior, he might as well be washing Beyonce’s feet in one of her old wigs.

Worst of all, I’ve noticed it’s a lot of women perpetuating this nonsense.

Uh, ladies, you do realize that when discussing how “feminine” the dougie looks it only prompts men to act more in line with a rigid view of masculine behavior – which often results in them treating women like they aren’t shit, right?

I don’t get the appeal skinny jeans (just appreciate the view), but I don’t necessarily think genital groping garments cancel out one’s “manhood.”

NBA player uses to wear coochie cutter length shorts on the court and that didn’t stop them from knocking up your nasty auntie, now did it?

The same applies to dances.

For years I would never dance because I was so afraid of what people would say. I was little petrified in it “outing me.” I remember one time a girl saying I danced like a “faggot.” She meant it as a compliment and I meant to find a voodoo priestess to stick a pin in her elbow.

Nevertheless as fate would have it, one of the dudes she liked was an overcompensating brute who didn’t move his feet but surely made his tongue move it like a snake to a closeted boy toy.

I say all that to note that perhaps in some instances, one extra twirk can give you an idea about a person but more times than not it doesn’t.

You would think at a time when our economy is as good as Montana Fishburne’s reputation that people would be more encouraging of dancing (you need to find enjoyment in the midst of depressing news somehow) instead of using it as another means of playing the gay guessing game.

One day, I hope we collectively evaluate the damage forcing hypermasculine ideals has done to black men and soon thereafter grow up a little.

And:

The illuminati wants everyone to be g*y so we dont reproduce. Its a form of depopulation.

…be a little smarter. If Satan wanted to take over the world through dance, he would’ve got our asses with the macarena.

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