Throwbacks, Remakes & Perverts

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Alright, ya’ll, haven’t reviewed a video in a while and since plenty have tried in recent days hours, I went ahead and lent my commentary to a couple.

As someone who monetarily supported Jazmine Sullivan with her debut album and is still hoping that she gets the acclaim she deserves, I have to say I don’t know what her people were thinking by selecting this as her first single.

It’s not that it’s a big song. It’s cool, but that just it – it’s cool. It doesn’t really excite me, doesn’t really pique my interest. It’s simply, you know, aight.

The same can be said about the video. An 80s theme, shout outs to Nuvo, how 2009. Girl, we on Conjure (although I’ve never had it, but still) and Ciroc now — step ya cookies up!

This is kind of like her first video, only a better version of it.

Overall, though, the video is cute and I like the cameos from 80s rappers. Thank God Lil’ Kim was still on the playground likely chasing somebody else’s man then. We don’t need her mad at anyone else.

I like the homage to House Party and I do appreciate her showing us a little personality. Still, it didn’t really alter my opinion of the song. Jazmine has offered what’s essentially a dope mixtape track when she’s in need of an undeniable hit.

Maybe this song will ultimately do well because it’s aided by a number of familiar samples, but as someone who salivated over songs like “Lions, Tigers, & Bears” and “Bust Your Windows,” I have to say I’m kind of disappointed.

But, hey, I’m still probably going to buy the album.

For the seven of you who’ve watched Trey Songz: My Moment, you know that Trey thinks he has what it takes to be a big time actor.

To his credit, minus those ugly cries he gave us, he did alright in his video for “Yo Side of The Bed.”

This shit right here, though, is a little too much. I had to pause about a minute in to see if I could mentally count how many different expressions he gave in 60 seconds. I lost count around 97.

OK, let’s just skip to the part that matters: His shirt being off.

If this world were mine (shout out to Luther), I’d be able to make my fortune reading off the words on Trey Songz’ chest – you know, proofreading and shit. I can assure you I’d make the overtime worth his wild it so if anyone hears about such a position opening, I’ll pass my resume and whatever underwear is required.

That said, thank you, Tremaine, for giving your fans the money shot. It’s enough to make me forget that your acting coach is an R. Kelly fan and that you basically remade Usher’s video for “Confessions.”

Oh yeah, I love the song. It’s nice to hear him sing about something besides sex – although my sexually laden review basically confirms why his subject matter shifted to such.

P.S. Negro, hire a black woman next time.

First off, let me note that the other day I was on and tried really hard to listen to the single but halfway had to stop.

Not because it was bad, rather I instantly thought of piss. As in stained toilet seats, urinary tract deficiency, and that episode of Sex & the City where Carrie was dating that golden shower-loving politician.

It probably doesn’t help that I’ve been referring to R. Kelly as “Pissy” for the last six years or so, but you get me, right?

In my defense, I could’ve thought of worse – like those stupid blond braids he had for that even dumber song, “Hair Braider.” If Roger Troutman weren’t already dead that bullshit certainly would’ve killed him.

I will give it to this man in dying need of therapy and cranberry juice – he can “write” a good song (the functional illiterates don’t use pens, hence the quotation marks).

Most have forgotten that given the terrible offerings he’s been sending to radio in recent years, but back in his prime Pissy could deliver a decent song. This four-minute tribute to the 1960s is a nice example of such.

I’m not in love with the song, but I can see why some people will be.

Look, he creeps me out now, however, this video doesn’t have him making references to magic flutes that lure children to his den and it doesn’t look like he’s pretending to be an artist who is pretending to be him.

For the state of his career, these are all good signs.

I’m still calling him Pissy, though.

Alright so I’ve dropped my two pennies, I’d be much oblige if you left yours.

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