Yawns To You & Yours

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Email this to someone

There’s really no sense in trying to dissect a Rihanna video anymore because they’re all essentially the same.

By the same, I mean they’re all model shoots guised as music videos. No matter how she’s dressed or what he hair color is, I’m usually waiting for Rih-Rih to tell me, “Because you’re worth it!” at the conclusion of all of her videos.

Nevertheless, she always manages to deliver videos that leave her looking amazing with a final product that looks expensive and shot extremely well.

She is consistent about looking the part and making sure it’s captured effectively.

Unfortunately, she’s also consistently boring in much of her videos. That is, with the exception of “Rude Boy.”

In that video she showed energy and a slight bit of oomph.

More importantly, she actually bothered to dance on a dance tune. In her video for “Only Girl (In The World),” we don’t get much of that outside of a two second uninspired two step.

This is a dance song, right?

Some feel her not dancing is for the best considering she’s not the greatest dancer.

Or as one of my friends put it, “She dances like a stripper on the last 15 mins of her shift. #lazy”

Lazy is such a way to describe her. I keep saying it and she keeps not caring (not that I blame her, she’s winning).

Rihanna reminds me why average people can always snatch your man. They’re willing to do more to get you off while pretty people rely on pretty. As catchy as her songs are, Rihanna still hasn’t reached her full potential because she doesn’t shake her cool.

Maybe you don’t want her, but that’s why Beyoncé is Popeye’s and Rihanna is hood Chinese carry out chicken.

Yet and still, I still like Rihanna (even more if she came with an eggroll), the song has grown on me and she’s still very likely going to get my money once her album is released.

The more she speaks in interviews, the more I like her. I don’t like her enough to go to a CD signing at a cemetery or anything, but I will give the girl credit for being able to make even a ratty red weave look breathtaking…in a good way.

I can’t give her much credit in other areas so that’s the best way to accentuate the positive.

Don’t get it confused, though: I don’t care to ever see that boring video again. Ever.

Lucky for her there are other videos even blander this time newly sent to the Web.

Like those from Professor Klump’s wayward son.

I happen to enjoy “Aston Martin Music” when I’m focused on the beat and Chrisette Michele’s hook.
The problem with the video is that not only is it dull, but it reminds you of how phony Ricky Klump is.

Dude, are you still pretending to be heading some crime syndicate? Have you not gotten over that yet? I suppose not given we’re all Big Meech, Larry Hoover.

You know what? Whatever. Let him fantasize as he hands Aston Martin Lagonda Limited a free commercial (now who’s the boss).

I’m planning to officially block out this video moments after I hit publish, though.

Right after I speak on more thing: Drake.

I am a fan of most of his music, but I’m beginning to see why some feel he’s way too emo. I haven’t listened to this song in a while, so it literally just hit me how whiny and pitiful he sounds on this song.

I want to know why he is so emotional. He always sounds like someone shut up his favorite pizza parlor. Like really, guy, why so down? How hard can life be for a half-Jewish Canadian from the suburbs? He sings like he just left the Sudan sometimes.

Buck up, homie. Clearly things get better.

Hopefully, once some artists more to my taste levels return, I’ll get better videos, too.

P.S. Indeed, I saw “Gimme Dat.” Verdict: I liked all those moves the first time I saw them in 2004.

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Email this to someone