Ha Ha, Hilson

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There’s something incredibly lame about a person who tries way too hard to prove a point to people. It could be the stench of desperation reeking from their antics. Or perhaps it’s simply the notion that if you have try that hard to make your case it’s not worth it. Whatever it is, it reads as corny.

And corny is the nicest way I can describe Keri Hilson’s newest single, “The Way You Love Me.”

Judging by the title, you would expect a song actually about love. Instead, it’s a shallow, vulgar homage to Keri’s crotch and the ego that keeps it moisturized. It’s my own fault, really. I was being far too literal. With a title like that, naturally the lyrical content would be more about how one is fucked and the reason why that one is so damn fuckable.

To her credit, this final version is a bit less explicit. Now it’s not necessarily, “fuck me, fuck me, it’s the way you fuck me.”

I believe it’s “thug me” now, which is you know, far classier.

I don’t really mind vulgarity, though. I mean, Oobie’s “Ooh Na Na” is a personal favorite of mine and the chorus goes: “Ooh, na na na, I’m so horny and I want you to fuck me. I’m tired of masturbating, got my body shaking. No orgasm faking with me.”

So slutty anthems don’t vex me, but ones guised as love songs that include lyrics like “fuck me, fuck me” originally intended for the radio certainly do. It’s like, “What are you trying to prove?”

Nothing. She merely needs a hit. Well, I’m not sure this is it.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the “fuck me” mix of this song will still make its way onto one version of her album. That sticker suggests such. Even if it doesn’t, the point remains the same: This song is some old bullshit. And: Keri Hilson tries too hard.

All of which only makes me laugh.

It’s a pity, too, because I was actually beginning to warm up to Keri again. I like “Breaking Point” and “Pretty Girl Rock.”

I was starting to return to the feelings I had when I first learned about her. Before her debut album finally saw its release, I liked Keri’s playful, sexually charged or at the very list, forcibly flirtatious songs. None of those ultimately made the first album, but I still enjoyed them and her first album was alright.

Those songs along with “Turnin’ Me On” seemed fun and natural. Singles like these feel forced and transparent. It plays right into the “if all else feels, sex it up” shtick. Why do people keep thinking that still works? I will keep repeating that question until I get some answers.

I could be wrong, however. There are some fans of this song.

I found this on a YouTube page:

@Audiomaniac84 SIT YO DUMB MOTHA FUCKIN ASS UP. THAT SHIT BORING. SWEETY ME AND MY HUSBAND LIKES WILD AND FREAKY SEX. NOT NO STUPID BED MAKIN SHIT. AND WHEN WE DO MAKE LOVE WE MAKE LOVE TO KERI HILSON SLOW DANCE OR MAKE LOVE. BUT MOSTLY WE HAVE THE WILD FREAKY SEX WHILE HE PULLIN MY HAIR AND SAYIN WHO IN CHARGE. AND ALL THAT. PPL LIKE DIFFERENT THINGS. I DO NOT EVEN KNOW WHY I AM TYPIN TO YOU. YOU ARE IRRELEVANT JUST LIKE THE COMMENT YOU POSTED. CHIILLLLLE GOOD DAY.

Will you be having hot tantric sex to Hilson’s latest, too?

Some people aren’t and seem to agree with me. One person quipped, “Keri is really trying too hard I think now.” Others were about as formal as Keri is on this song — “this shit wack.”

I read someone’s Twitter who was on the set that the video is this, plus that and that Ms. Boom Kack herself directed and/or choreographed. I’ve never been a fan of Keri’s dancing so that doesn’t get me excited. But maybe there’s hope that the video might make me like this?

Wait, who am I kidding? She’s going to try even harder on the video, isn’t she?

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