Leave My Song Alone, Children!

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While I do agree with Auntie Nippy that the children are indeed our future (an increasingly scary thought, but I digress), more and more I find myself at odds with such a sentiment given my growing sympathy for the geriatric community and their mission statement, “Damn kids! Get off my lawn!”

That’s largely in part to it becoming painfully aware that I’m getting older myself – which means it’s much easier for me to get grouchy over things. Especially when they are super duper important to me. For example, the horrific scenario that is someone outside of my age group fucking up a song that I consider to be a cherished memory from my childhood.

Which leads me to the posted clip – a remake of Brandy and Wanya Morris’ classic (yes, classic), the remix to “Brokenhearted.”

I have nothing against no longer little Sammie nor newcomer and Twitter shade thrower, Karina Pasian. I actually think those two can sing and I hope they get a chance to shine. However, I find it rather unfortunate that some cosmic force didn’t cause the power of the studio they recorded this remake at to immediately shut off once the engineer was ready. You know, because that would have been for their own good and stuff.

I am sure they meant well, but then again, so do most artists who butcher songs they had no business touching to begin with.

Really, who encouraged them to do this and why? I’d like to send that person hate mail.  The same courtesy should be paid to the producer who sped up the tempo of this track.

No, it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever heard in life. That award still largely goes to projects like Dalvin Degrate’s solo album and bullshit like “Pretty Boy Swag” or “LOL =).”

So yes I’ve heard far, far worse than this. And to be fair to them, at least they are both of age which in hindsight, makes it a lot less creepy considering Wanya was too damn old to be a song from an album that includes song titles like “Sunny Day.”

Still, this remake should be locked away in a vault along with Britney Spears’ embarrassing cover of “My Prerogative.”

For those of you old enough to remember the original song, maybe you will understand my angst. Like, I was 11-years-old when this came out. For Christmas, my mama bought me Brandy’s debut album on cassette. As in I had to flip Side A and Side B to listen to the whole album.

When I pretended to know what the hell love was at 11 (I bet my sadness was merely triggered by a boy switching classes resulting in me missing him during recess), I would cue this sucker on Side A and listen to Brandy’s solo version of the song. And then once the actual Hype Williams-directed video came out, I recorded it on VHS (or maybe my sister did and I just ganked her tape, whatever), I’d watch the video whenever I felt the spirit.

Plus, Brandy sounds so pretty on it which made it still feel good to listen to despite it being so sad in subject matter.

Regardless of whatever reasons I listened to the song the point is I did so and quite often. This was my damn song and despite their good intentions these kids need to get off my damn lawn and leave “Brokenhearted” alone.

Now, if you’ll excuse my old grouchy ass, I’m about to play the original version and restore my memory.

Sing-along if you know the words, but don’t try to sing over me as I live by the creed, “I’m a Beyoncé. I ain’t no Kelly Rowland.”

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