Wait, Wait I Still Want To Recap

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I had every intention to recap my 2010 and what I enjoyed writing most on this site and elsewhere my byline meets before 2011 started, but for one reason or another (traveling, family, Happy Hour, jigging) it didn’t happen.

Shame on me, though ya’ll should be used to it by now. Oh well, I’m going to do it now given we’re less than 96 hours into the New Year. Besides, there are some things I’ve done and written that I’m particularly proud of and want to share.

For one, I did my very first radio interview (well, on political matters anyway) with a conservative radio host named Rusty Humphries. It was based on a piece I did for Aol News about the racist fringe element of the Tea Party.

I initially thought it would be like a gotcha interview and since I’m not one for punditry, I was going to not bother. I’m glad I did, though, because it was nice ‘practice’ and millions of people heard me not sound like an idiot.

Lovely. Anywho, click here to check it out if you haven’t already.

Oh, the other thing I’m really really proud of is having Amber Rose back it up on me while I twirked her off. And: She remembered me from last year. But, I mean, if I saw a slim dude in all white dropping it to the ground while in line for free drinks then asking me, “Why you block me on Twitter? I ain’t say shit about you!” while in line for the bathroom, I’d remember the person, too.

Then again, other random people have approached me saying they remembered me dancing. To me this means I’m doing something right or I’m that fucking crazy. Either way, it’s good to be remembered.

Alright now, enough with the verbal masturbation (at least about my dancing anyway) and on to the writing:

1. Bishop Long and What’s Long Overdue for Christians

I wrote a piece about the scandal for Aol News from a different angle. Honestly, even if Bishop Eddie Long were found innocent (a scenario hilariously unlikely), I still think he ain’t worth shit. Reason being is that he’s a homophobic clown who conveniently twists Christian principles to suit his own interests and yet can use other antiquated text with dubious meanings to vilify gay people. My piece called on Christians to understand context and the limits of Biblical literalism — not to mention offering a quick reminder of how historically the Bible has been used to perpetuate prejudice. Too bad calling on people to do that is about as useful as trying to BBM someone on a Boost Mobile BlackBerry via pay phone. One day, though. One day.

2. The Five Dumbest Reasons To Defend John Mayer

Sometimes black people are way too willing to defend people who obviously would never pay them that same courtesy. We should be off that by now.

3. You’re As Deep As A Wad Of Spit, Shut Up

This is for the fake philosopher in you.

4. Twitter Makes Me Hate You

Sadly, it still does…and so very, very much at that.

5. Help Me: Lil’ Kim

I really don’t understand why some people choose to act like Yolanda Saldivar about a given celebrity, but that’s not my issue and it’s certainly not my purpose. Mine as a writer to tell my truth in every variance. When it comes to Lil’ Kim, my truth is she needs to let go of her feud with Nicki Minaj and let God direct her to a ghostwriter who can give her what she really needs – a damn decent song. No, “Black Friday” doesn’t count. You wish.

Honorable Mention: “Baltimore, Get Your Girl.”

6. Lauryn Hill Denial Disorder

Lauryn Hill’s recent tirade reeks of self-importance, self-righteousness, and she seems to now be about as deluded as a crack head on Pico trying to buy a prostitute with a chicken bone he scooped up before a hood squirrel could grab it. The more she talks, the more irritated I become with her. Some of you don’t want to let go, though, holding out hope that Lauryn will return with a sophomore album featuring Jesus and Drake. If you or someone you like a little bit suffers from LHDD, read this now and form a support group.

7. He Needed $14.66 For Their Lunch Date

It’s exactly as bad as it sounds. Thank you, Kim, for the material.

8. How In The Hell Can You Believe Anything From Media Take Out?

I may soon need to write another separate piece entitled “Why In The Fuck Are You All So Got Damn Gullible?” I say this after watching my Twitter timeline erupt in spectacle over a rumor about Michelle Obama being knocked up yesterday. First, it literally took me a second to Google the source – Weekly World News, which is listed as satire (I guess they can’t say “bullshit”). That means Michelle Obama is as pregnant as Will Smith’s ears are. And that story about Suge Knight getting arrested for 2Pac’s murder — really? There has to be a balance between being way too cynical and too damn gullible.

Honorable Mention: Beyoncé Promotes Popeye’s, Not Satan

9. How Rihanna Made Me Rewind

This had to be mentioned for two reasons. The first being a friend of mine told me that her lesbian (or something) co-worker – who had no idea that we knew each other – quoted this entry and my “gummy bears” reference to describe her affinity for women. I am spreading, folks. Little by little.

The second being one commenter who wrote in response to this piece:

“But, Mike, we need you to stay gay. Please. We need an intellectual voice like yours to break down the walls so young Queens like myself can rightfully run around in a camouflaged mini-skit when we go to war in Afghanistan.”

Yes, I had to include this and you must read it.

10. “Accepting Where My Piece Blows”

I had no idea there was such a thing called “National Coming Out Day,” but I did use the opportunity to test something out. That being writing about myself at length at gauging interest for – well, hopefully 2011 will allow me to say such. I’m sure you can figure it out, though. If you haven’t read it yet, definitely check it out and leave your feedback. I’m working hard on certain things outside of my normal tasks.

I’m very focused, and that is essentially why sometimes my blogging schedule becomes infrequent – yes, even more than the norm. As a freelancer, I write a lot all the time and sometimes I get tired. I delved into it a bit earlier this year. I’m going to make an effort to maintain a certain number of posts a week this year because I love this site, but whenever there’s a break just know that I’m working…on something.

Trust me.

That said, thank you to everyone who reads this site. Thank you for the comments – even some of the ones that make me want to pour water on your keyboard – and spotting me out at random places and showing love (new to me, but really cool all the same). It’s all appreciated.

If you know of someone who still hasn’t read my site, send them this post (email, Facebook, the Twitter) and tell them to get with it already.

Happy New Year and thank you again.

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