Negro, Stay The Hell Away From Jodeci Covers When You Know You Can’t Sing

If I didn’t have an ear infection before I certainly do now. Where in the hell is Ursula when you need her? No, really, where is she at? Is her fat, hateful ass on Twitter? I need to ask for a favor.

Before you even think it, no, I am not overreacting. This is a serious offense. Seriously.

Full disclosure: I love Jodeci.

Maybe I didn’t have any business listening to them at such a young age but what the hell ever. Repeat after me: No STDs excuses my discography. Anyway, Jodeci was the R&B group to me. Like, I can still remember being in Mrs. Whoever’s classroom and standing with three other guys deciding which member of Jodeci we were gonna pretend to be. I chose Mr. Dalvin, of course. Yes, I’ve always had good taste (aesthetically anyway).

I consider Jodeci’s music to be a special part of my childhood. I liked a few Boyz II Men songs here and there, but I didn’t feel them the way I felt Jodeci. I like my music to have some oomph and Jodeci never failed to deliver in that department. “Stay,” “Forever My Lady,” “Let’s Go Through The Motions,” their cover of “Lately,” “Ride and Slide,” “I Belong To You,” “Feein’,” “Time and Place,” “My Heart Belongs To You,” and on and on.

Considering we haven’t seen Jodeci together in over a decade and that their relevance expired about five or six years before that, I’ve never really had the chance to talk about how much I used to adore this group as a child.

Well, now you know, which means I hope you understand why this awful cover irks me.

“Come and Talk To Me” is probably one of my favorite songs ever. With it being such a definitive song for a certain era of R&B if you’re going to remake it you have to be very, very careful in order not to piss off people like me.

Omarion, you failed. On some Raz-B type of failure shit. Hell, you’re singing like you have more of Raz’s secrets lodged in your throat.

I will say that perhaps the title of this post is a little harsh. I wouldn’t say Omarion can’t sing at all. He can, uh…kinda. Still, his nasally tone doesn’t fit for a song like “Come and Talk To Me.” Someone around him should’ve told him that.

This cover reminds me of why Omarion and so many others like him can’t get very far. Did he really have to flip the song into “Come and Fuck With Me?”

I’m so sick of these unimaginative, talent deficient thirsty ass singers trying to guise their lack of creativity with crassness. If you want someone to go and fuck with you, go become a porn star. Damn.

Oh and don’t think I missed the DJ shouting “ONLY FOR THE LADIES ONLY! ONLY FOR THE LADIES!”

Be for fucking real.

I have never met a woman over 4’9 who gives a fuck about Omarion. If a bowlegged transgendered dwarf with a glass eye wanted to through her draws at you, Omarion, I suggest you encourage them so long as they can show you a receipt for Ollusion.

Do not be picky in a recession when it was hard for you to sell in more prosperous times. Especially if this Jodeci diss record is an indication of what lies ahead for you musically.

I tried to think of something positive to say, because I have a soft spot in my heart for the softest spot on Omarion. Plus, that “Touch” was cool and stuff. Yeah, I’ve got nothing.

I would clap for him if he sung this in the shower — and that’s only if I had a front row seat to distract me. But, I don’t and he can’t so he shouldn’t have.

So: May Devante haunt him in his dreams…or at the nearest car wash.

Comments

  1. ANONYMOUS says:

    LOL, I like this post.

    The cover wasn’t as bad as I was expecting (should’ve known since it was coming from you). However, I agree with you about him flipping the song to “Come N F*** Wit’ Me.” I hate how all these male R&B singers are cussing and shouting “nigga this, nigga that” on their records now. There’s absolutely no need for it. None of the older artists that they’re supposed to be “taking [us] back to” did all that extra shit on their records and they were more successful than half if not all of them. Trey Songz, Chris Brown, Usher, now Omarion…this is one of the many reasons why their shit will never be classic like Marvin Gaye, Luther Vandross, Michael Jackson…hell even Jodeci.

  2. sickwitit says:

    “I’m so sick of these unimaginative, talent deficient thirsty ass singers trying to guise their lack of creativity with crassness. If you want someone to go and fuck with you, go become a porn star. Damn.”

    hi trey songz, and did i here a flocka at 1:07? no….

  3. Hi-larious!!

    And Jodeci. We so understand each other.

    Poor Omari. I think I liked him better in his Bow-Marion days.

  4. Christian says:

    Yeah, “Bow-Marion” was special.

  5. Arizonaa says:

    Jodeci is my favorite group off all time. I’m still crushing on Devante even though he’s got some obvious problems. Him and the group are still the sh*t. Nobody should f*ck with Jodeci. Omarion needs to stay in his lane.

  6. TJ says:

    I am sooooo with you here. I LOVE Jodeci. They were the biznessssssss. If I could pay to go see N.E. reunite; you best believe I would see Jodeci sing my favorite’s no matter how bad that may turn out. I don’t even plan to ruin the origina Come and Talk to Me by even listening to how Omarion chopped and screwed it up. I rather pour slithers of freshly broken glass down my ear canal. (And I like some of Omarion’s music)

  7. Tyrell Star says:

    I love the word fuck like any other person, but it doesn’t belong in a Jodeci song..it ruins it. Jodeci would have never done that. He’s trying to sound edgy-sexy.

    But I agree with you, if he was in the shower singing and i was with him…I’d be ok with it. haha.

  8. Misty Knight says:

    Yet another reason for me to loathe this little, little man. He is soooo corny! if you still sound like your balls haven’t dropped you DONT GET TO SING KCI’S PART!!! That there is a man’s voice! A man that smokes Newports, wears Stacey Adams, drives a Cadillac Cattera, and still collects Crown Royal bags! Not these ole pre-pubescent voice male RnB singers of present day who sound like someone punted their nutsacks!

    Ugghhh, and you are such a guy, only a man could overlook this douchebagery for some decent cakes.

    Exhibit A
    http://stuffflypeoplelike.com/?p=49253
    and this!
    http://stuffflypeoplelike.com/?p=48743
    More
    http://thatgrapejuice.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/omarion-12.jpg

    Ewwlllll :{

  9. Melania says:

    Ahaha The animated GIF is a great addition to what is yet again a great post …I was a big Jodeci fan aswell : )

  10. Kristy says:

    Jodeci was a part of my childhood as well, so I understand where you’re coming from. The yelling and the K-Ci impersonations irked my nerves, so I was upset that he ruined a good song by good vocalists. From this point on, Omarion needs a straightforward person to really critique his material and not a ‘yes, sir’ type person. I’d love to be that person to inform him to go back in the booth and try again because THAT was horrible. A part of me wanted to ask him on twitter: “What in the hell were you thinking? Who was in the studio with you that agreed that this was HOT? This is not it!” But, I digress and I hope he doesn’t try this infamous act again.