The Inmate Wives of Baltimore

Warning: The following post contains loads of expletives, strong Baltimore accents, and a significant amount of my fear (my own).

Ever wondered what was going to happen after multiple seasons of The Real Housewives of Atlanta & Basketball Wives aired and Wal-Mart finally reduced the price of digital cameras? Wonder no more because with the “Inmate Wives of Baltimore,” the future is here.

The best description of this You Tube series comes from a caption on one of the episodes: “ABOUT WOMAN WHO LOVE HER MAN IN JAIL. WHAT WE WILL DO FOR A NIGGA BEHIND THEM G WALLS…..”

It features episodes like:

I gotta be honest: I’m fascinated. There are a lot of extended family members I’m not particularly close to so when I found out they went to jail it was kinda like, “Well, I wasn’t talking to his ass anyway.” Same for the growing number of people who literally grew up around the corner from me that I’m finding out  are either in jail or just got out.

I never know what to say.

Hell, I barely like talking to people with bad credit. That shit is contagious. But let me shut up, because when you have a parent who blasts 2Pac outside like it’s still 1996 to entertain some of these very folks you have no real right to act saddity.

Anyway, so I watched a couple of the videos. Alright: Multiple ones.

This episode stuck out most. Why is Ms. DEE-DEE’s home girl telling her that her guy in jail needs “time for himself.” Like, he’s in jail. What kind of personal time does one really need there? Nevermind. Maybe it’s not for me to understand.

Anyway, there’s additional insight on the life of an inmate wife:

Oh and while they don’t go to Milan like Shaunie’s girls or hit Miami to stay with Kim’s rich homeboy like the ladies of Atlanta, B-More’s inmate wives still hit the road in their own way:

I’m not even mad. At least they’re not crying about not being able to afford their extra large bag of Doritos the way Cynthia Bailey carried on about that money she loaned her Uncle Ben all season on RHOA.

There’s other fun to be had:

I figured Monica’s “U Should’ve Known Better” was going to be included somehow. Or any post-“Angel of Mine” Monica song really.

Now, under normal circumstances I would probably insert a bit sarcasm into the post. Yeah, I’m not doing that in this instance. Much of that has to do with one thing: Fear.

You see this? If somebody hooks Mook up with a Buddy Pass, God bless her offender’s soul.

If someone asked me which two cities have the residents I’d least like to anger without a gun permit, I would choose Baltimore and New Orleans. They will kill you. I went on a date with someone from Holly Grove once and I recall him telling me how, “We don’t run from the bullets. We go to see who got shot.”

With a smile!

In this instance, I feel like some of the nice women in these videos could probably make a gun out of an empty Popeye’s box. That or they can hide a blade in their crotch. I’m not messing with them.

So yeah, girls, y’all dew what y’all dew. Good luck and God bless.

Comments

  1. PrettyIz says:

    Dead @ “make a gun out of an empty Popeye’s box.” Ha-Friggin’-larious!

  2. Delita says:

    I can’t! This is terrible and of course they are from my hometown sounding a Hot Ass Mess! LOL

  3. babygirlja says:

    Mikey this post had me dying lol, and I agree these hoes are not to be fucked with.

  4. ANONYMOUS says:

    Bmore stand up!!!!!

  5. Mimi says:

    My favorite line of this post – “when you have a parent who blasts 2Pac outside like it’s still 1996 to entertain some of these very folks you have no real right to act saddity.”

  6. satnitespecial says:

    I truly can’t! I watched about a good 10 videos on the youtube site and I was left stunned. DAMN way to set us back.

  7. Will says:

    With or without the cameras the fact remains, these women have dedicated their lives to men that are in prison and some have been with the man for 10+ years. It won’t affect me one way or another, but it makes me wonder if there is some truth in the fact that it doesn’t really paint the whole picture for some folks though who obviously have forgotten—jail ain’t no joke! You will get raped and murdered in jail on the real tip (and Baltimore, from what it sounds like)…and I almost spit out my tea on “We don’t run from the bullets. We go to see who got shot.”—too hardcore for me…I don’t even like to say the word “bullet”…lol!

  8. KO says:

    Bravo must make this a reality show, STAT!

  9. Drew-Shane says:

    I CAN’T! I WON’T!!!!

  10. sickwitit says:

    i absolutely LOVE b-more accents, all that yew and tew lol

  11. n*i*poet says:

    And you just had to bring this to our attention, huh Mike? I am from b-more, and yes my “ews” go hard. I don’t say dug instead of dog though, like some others. I actually recognize and/or know someone who knows some of these women. Smdh…I’ll admit it’s slightly amusing, but I feel like it’s because there’s a comfort-level or familiarity I have with it. You, my dear sir, have no excuse! LOL

  12. cheeky says:

    I just can’t with you! I’m so embarrassed and I’m from B-more! Smh…these girls are a hot mess and I’m so glad I don’t shop in Sam’s because I would have sent a letter so quick to the “editor” of this mess demanding that my face, voice and likeness be blurred from this gar-bage ASAP!

    And yea, I do say dug instead of dog and rum instead of room…*shrugs* its b-more!

  13. Jennwill says:

    I cannot stop watching this. I want to. I should. But alas, I cannot.

    Why did you tell me about this? There are some things I just shouldn’t know. Their accent really lights up my life.

  14. Nicole says:

    I can’t look away… *blank stare*.

    I found myself trying to say “yew” like 4 times today.

  15. Kim says:

    I’m embarrassed. No other words describe how I feel.

  16. INMATEWIVES says:

    THANKS THE GOOD SUPPORTS IN GOD BLESS THE HATERS…

  17. Not gonna bother watching. Your description was enough to convince me not to watch. :-|

    Proud to be an American….. expatriate. :-|

  18. wow says:

    These females are a mess!! It is not that serious! The bad thing is that the same way the act and talk is the same way that the “inmates” talk too…what a same. Very narrow minded and disrespectful. Its always ni**a this ni**a that. And the jails in baltimore are full of fake thungs! The inmates cry and snitch about everything, never met a bunch of babies..I worked in over 6 prisions in maryland and they r all the same…cry, cry, cry… the real inmates left the state when the house closed down…these inmates are just low life clowns..

  19. zay says:

    I feel ppl always have something say about what others are doing if they feel like this is what they want to do and how they go about they situation then let them. By doing what they are doing is not hurting nobody and for some ppl to be sitting here bashing them or reading them yall be the same ones watching almost all there videos smh

  20. How long has this been on……lol what's next real housewives of the globetrotters!