If You Really Loved Lil’ Kim You Would Find Her A Chair

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I’m beginning to think Kimberly Jones’ unlicensed Mexican surgeon inadvertently sucked out her brain cells and stuck them into her ass. That’s the only rationale I can come up with as to why Kim honestly thinks this now one-sided beef she has with Nicki Minaj will get her anywhere.

In case you haven’t been keeping score:

1. Pink Friday is platinum. The first female rap album to go platinum since Lil’ Kim’s La Bella Mafia. Yes, a female rapper went platinum – in 2011. Can you imagine how many more units sold it would be if we lived in an era where people still bought albums? I bet Kim can.

2. Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez are singing Nicki Minaj’s music on camera. As are a lot of other people. Still. Do you know who’s singing this bullshit ass clip posted above? Some over-the-hill queen mad they didn’t have a pink wig in his size.

3. Lil’ Kim still doesn’t have a song on the radio.

4. Hell, just look at Lil’ Kim. Even if Nicki Minaj looked like the baby mama of Frankenstein at the Grammy Awards, it’s still better than looking like a failed science fair project. No one is trying to look like that, homegirl.

5. Lil’ Kim is charging $10 for a mixtape. Lil’ Kim, a person who hasn’t had a decent song let alone a hit one in several years thinks people are going to give her $10 to rap poorly over other people’s beats.

You lose, new nose. You lose.

Despite her losing her way, I still wanted to believe it would dawn on Kimmy that this beef was a bad move and she would do much better using her time more wisely. Like say, find a new pen pal to write her rhymes and salvage her career. She found somebody, but evidently it’s Foxy Brown’s cousin who used to date Remy Ma.

In conclusion, those of you encouraging Kim on this downward spiral that is her career need to cut it out, find her a chair and tell her to come up with a new plan. This ain’t it. It is Valentine’s Day. Show her some real love.

See, I tried: Help Me: Lil’ Kim.

Your turn.

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