T.T.’s In Heat

I’m beginning to long for the days when people were more in tuned with their insecurities.

See what I mean?

There are so many things wrong with this video that I’m not even sure where to begin.

Wait, that’s a lie. I know exactly where to begin: This guy’s left and right breast. As someone who spent a number of years on the chubbier side of life, let me say just how scary male boobs are.

I mean, I’m not even fat anymore and I no longer feel like an A-Cup but the thought of Victoria Secret sending me mail still occasionally haunts me in my dreams. That’s why I never leave the gym without doing some kind of exercise for the chest. I can’t go back, y’all. I just can’t.

So on one end, I’m kind of like it’s great that Fat Joe’s nephew is that secure with his body to let his titty’s flap like that. At the same time, though, I noticed that his breasts are more supple than the female lead’s are. Call me old fashioned, but I don’t think that’s okay given the theme of the video.

You know what other old school value this video reminds me to promote? That you should learn how to read before you rap. That way you can do all sorts of things — like be able to come up with words, phrases, and a kind of flow that doesn’t make you sound like the child every teacher on this side of the world left behind.

These type of people scare me. They’re horny as hell, but probably can’t read a condom wrapper. That means they’re more likely to produce even simpler offspring.

I don’t have anything else to add about Titty Tim and his XXX rated lyrics and speak and spell flow outside of, “God help us.”

Oh and “find your t-shirt.”