Don’t Come For Dot

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If Gucci Mane were a fake holy roller born with a vagina – or at least claimed to have been born with one – you would get the latest YouTube “sensation” named Dot.

Honestly, I’m not quite sure what to say about Dot other than bear witness to the dangers of putting flip cams on sale on Black Friday.

Oh wait, Dot is telling us not to come for her. I haven’t a clue as to what in the hell a Dot is. I don’t get her purpose. I don’t get the angle. I’m not sure what exactly the entertainment value in any of this is supposed to be.

I’m equally confused by the gay narrator in Dot’s YouTube series. Keith, who you can blame for bringing this to my and now your attention, says the gay dude in the background is “the homo that every hood bitch knows.”

That actually sounds about right. Still, why is he whining in the background? He┬ásounds like what if James Earl Jones sucked helium for six hours and took a hammer to his wrist. Stop it, dude. That is not your natural voice and since you’re not a Jackson, you don’t get a pass for hamming it up.

And I wish he stopped repeating all of those lines that really don’t make any sense. I assume he believes that’s the road to becoming the next Miss Lawrence. In Lawrence’s defense, though, at least he sounds like he’s read within the last six years.

Shortly before I considered cursing Keith out for sending this to me, I got realized the point of Dot and Dickless in the third video.

Did y’all hear her? She said, “I’m a celeberdee. Imma a staur.”

Oh. Now I get it. This is another sad instance of people who just turn on a camera, coon it up and then wait for someone to make them rich and famous. The difference is it’s presented in a form to unintentionally show what happens when you skip class to help your mama sell Cool Cups.

If you or someone your love thinks purple lipstick, slurred words, and hairstyles that Halle Berry parodied more than 15 years ago is the way to fame and fortune, do yourself a favor and pour Big Red soda all over your camera.

You’re welcome.

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