1. Is Fonzworth Bentley for real with his dreams of rap stardom?
2. With all of that extra hair on both his face and head, doesn’t Drake look like biracial Herman Munster?
3. When Miguel’s lovely voice croons about how that pussy is his, is he referring to the pussy that used to chase down The Rescue Rangers?
4. Why don’t Britney Spears’ legs move anymore?
5. What in the 1995 font flavored hell is Lady GaGa’s album cover supposed to mean?
6. Shouldn’t the American news media and public have climaxed on its Disney-inspired princess fetish and move on from all the royal wedding coverage by now?
7. Is there no greater example of why some behind the scenes people need to stay there than Sean Garrett’s solo career?
8. We can’t clean our rooms before we South Dallas Swag anymore?
9. To those of you lusting after Diggy Simmons and Justin Combs: Ya’ll do know Chris Hansen is just waiting for you to slip up, right?
10. Even if it ultimately proves itself to be a big hit, doesn’t it kind of suck for Christina Aguilera to need a judge a reality show for relevance?
11. How many more banal pseudo self-help celebrity self-help books can we expect by year’s end?
12. Has Kanye West given up on My Dark Twisted Fantasy?
13. Don’t you Beyoncé deniers filling up my comments section realize you’re going to end up with chicken grease on your face…again?
14. Why does Oprah want to hurt me?
15. Can someone alert Jennifer Hudson that we wouldn’t think she was shading Beyoncé and Rihanna in interviews if she would stop shading Beyoncé and Rihanna in interviews?
16. Will Popeye’s please get rid of Annie and her fake ass Louisiana accent already?
17. I’m not particularly bothered by this, are you?
18. Despite this being touted as a back and forth war of words, has Spike Lee actually said anything directly about Tyler Perry publicly since the first ‘round of comments back in December 2009?
19. So the seabiscuit on the scalp look is what’s hot in the streets now?
20. With gentleman like Soulja Boy around, how can anyone say romance is dead?