Well, It’s Official
Last month a scenario that I knew was coming had finally arrived: My student loan payments were now more than my rent.
Unlike my behavior earlier in the year when I was first alerted that I would be abruptly making payments the size of mortgages in the South, I did not spazz out completely. I didn’t even curse as much as those who know me best would have expected me to. Don’t get me wrong, this shit still sucks. It also still feels like another distraction that prevents me from fully focusing on the work that would get me to the place where these sort of things will no longer bear that great a burden on me anymore.
I know that in the end, it is up to me that to achieve my dreams. I realize that sleep is a luxury people with my levels of ambition can’t always afford to enjoy. And yes, I know that I believe I can fly, that there ain’t no mountain high enough, and that age ain’t nothing but a number. Wait, I’m confused now.
Anyway, naturally with the higher the payment comes an even bigger workload and far more stress. I currently have some other really big burden on my back right now, but I won’t bother you with the details. I’ll be fine. I always will be.
I do want to say this, though: I’m still going to end up in the higher tax bracket that I belong in.
I hope it doesn’t take much longer, but it’s coming.
When that glorious day does come know that I’m going to shade the shit out of Sallie Mae, and more importantly act a true damn fool on that fucker of a financial institution, Citibank.
The week after my final check clears I am flying to South Dakota and staging a cut up of epic proportions outside of their corporate headquarters.
I’m going to show up dressed like a Saudi Royal and then proceed to stand on a crate with a megaphone and yell at those sum’bitches like a Black Israelite.
I’ll also have a BBQ pit out front and have random sympathizers join me in tossing ribs at the front door.
Later that day, I’m going to call out the big girl background dancers I hope will follow me around full-time in the future and hold a twirk off to Lil’ Wayne’s “Did It Before” and Beyoncé’s “Green Light.”
It won’t be all fun, though, because I’m going to curse and curse and curse.
Curse about how those assholes wouldn’t work with me despite my great efforts to be as responsible as possible. Curse about how flat out disrespectful they were to me at the beginning of the year. Curse about all of the people they’ve fucked over out of greed.
Oh and yes, I’ll curse myself out yet again for even turning to them to fund my education. But don’t trip: I’ll be directing much of my anger at their punk asses. Hopefully, I’ll have a camera crew there, too. I’d much rather show out with an audience.
If profanity offends you please skip the following sentence: I’m going to yell, “Fuck them! Fuck them! Fuck them! Drop dead, bitch ass Citbank! Fuck them!”
And then I’ll hit my dougie.
Don’t worry: I don’t want your sympathy, pity, or shade (some people are assholes, as evidenced by the piece I wrote about my plight for The Root in 2009). Just know that I’m going to pay it off and then I’m going to act a natural fool to spite these loan shark-like corporations.
Now as you were.
P.S. I’m going to start a scholarship fund, too. I have a heart.
LMAO!!!!!! You are a fool, Mikey. Count me in for tossing ribs at the building!
Well I need to apply for the scholarship fund to pay back my loans. Can that work? I hope.
Sooooo what are you trying to say here? Are you a writer for the love of the craft or are you writing for a fast come-up/to get rich/to pay the bills? ‘Cause if it’s the latter then I’m sure your fellow writers in the game might be feeling some kinda way. I’m sure Langston, Zora, Ralph ‘n em had bills too, but at least they maintained their artistic inregrity. We already have enough Tyler Perry wannabes trying to build an empire at the expense of putting out shoddy product.
Write if you have a voice and if you have something to say. Not cause it ain’t nothing going on but the rent.
What’s inregrity?
What I’m trying to say here is I’m a working writer with heavy student loan debt. As a working writer I am working more to make sure my bills are paid and my credit stays correct — the same way any other working person does in their field with similar struggles.
I gather you’ve been on my site all of five minutes and decided to make me the next cross-dressing with mommy issues sensation. I don’t know where you got that from, but unless I start saying I’m writing pieces with chunks of watermelon stuck on the side of my mouth while dually tap dancing you can save this diatribe for someone willing to donate a damn to it.
Be easy with the projections, homie. My writing style hasn’t changed, but my reality has. That was the point of this post, and clearly I wasn’t making light of it ’til I read this. Thank you for reading — now try reading more before attempting to size me up.
P.S. Zora Neale Hurston died broke, I will not.
I admire your work and your determination…helps keep me motivated when I hit a research/writing block.
I’ve been reading for longer than you might think. Fresh linked me over here. My favorite post was the Mary J voicemail. I’ve been reading long enough to know you jig every morning, you hate when people question why you write about your sexuality and that pre-May 2011 Beyonce could do no wrong. Sorry you didn’t get in the screenwriting program, but at least you got your name in Vibe’s masthead. Oh, inregrity is a typo, but let’s not even try the grammar shade because there’s been worse errors among you and the commenters alike.
So I might not have you sized up, but my measurements are in the ballpark, amirite? And naw, I didn’t flip through the archives real quick. Maybe I follow writers/bloggers on the rise ’cause I’m a fan? *shrugs*
I didn’t compare your work to Tyler’s, but rather your work ethic. Grinding pays, but how much is the final output worth in the long run? History overlooks Zora’s financial situation (as do most writers) because of the legacy she left us. I’ve never heard any aspiring writer say their goal is to “be in a higher tax bracket” — but I ain’t saying you should have ramen for dinner for the rest of your life, either. All I’m saying is, what’s the goal here? Creating something people can relate to, or profiting off your readers for the sole purpose of asking Sallie Mae how your ass tastes?
My mistake, you’ve been reading for a while. That’s even worse, though, respectfully, because “working harder” and “taking on more work” has come in the form of the pieces that I link regularly on the site: All of which tie into my greater goals in one way or another. Maybe you were too busy being a little self-righteous to notice. I make it plain what my end goals are under the “about me” on my site. Unless you’ve spotted something that deviates from that, spare me.
I don’t think I give off the impression of an idiot, but if I do let me rewind you that I’m well aware of the fact that if I were all about the bottom line then I probably wouldn’t be a writer, much less one in 2011. I do, however, plan to use my talent to better myself, and yes, that includes being in a much loftier tax bracket. With greater success as a writer comes more opportunity — ultimately leading to me reaping the benefits of a number of ways, financial being one of them.
I honestly don’t understand how a tongue-in-cheek post about why I look forward to celebrating no longer having a great financial burden on me in the future warranted a question of ethics and motivation, but I’m pretty much done with it.
You can continue making baseless accusations or further lament on whatever you think the virtues a writer should harbor, I can now stop caring. And no, you didn’t hit a nerve, but you should probably hit up someone else with all this to where it better applies.
P.S. That’s not true about Bey. Wrote about disliking her last album on the site, even once wrote why she needed a muzzle at times. =)
By the way, decades after he death Zora was pretty much forgotten. Once Alice Walker mentioned her work and reignited interest in it (and shocker, commercial success) only then did her legacy get a well deserved boost.
Oh, I missed the new bio. Lots and lots of money, huh? Welp, good luck with that. Can’t say I agree with it, but I can’t fully judge a hustle that’s not my own, so…
One more “by the way” though…like Beyonce, nobody is above criticism or speculation. So yeah. Something to keep in mind on the path to glory. Another thing I’ve noticed? Putting out the call to arms via Twitter every time someone makes a comment you disagree with? 1,000+ followers should be reflected in the comments each time if that worked, but…naw, lemme stop there.
“One more ‘by the way’ though…like Beyonce, nobody is above criticism or speculation. So yeah. Something to keep in mind on the path to glory.”
Uh:
“That’s not true about Bey. Wrote about disliking her last album on the site, even once wrote why she needed a muzzle at times.”
Keep in mind that I can read.
“Putting out the call to arms via Twitter every time someone makes a comment you disagree with?”
Keep in mind I’ve been on Twitter for two years and my blog has been up for five. Keep in mind that is not “every time someone makes a comment you disagree with.” Keep in mind I would’ve noticed by now that if that was my intention it never works. Why?
Again: Keep in mind that I can read.
You left that part about Zora alone not to mention couldn’t actually answer the question about anything I’ve written that suggested that I magically have changed my voice as a writer because as a working writer I realize that I have to be working more to remain one. In fact, I turned down writing a piece a week ago because it I didn’t agree with the sentiment they wanted to convey despite the aforementioned need for money.
You don’t know what you’re talking about, which is why I bothered to respond to you to begin with. Now I wish I hadn’t because it’s ridiculously stupid to think anyone should have to defend themselves from wanting to be successful from some faceless fuck.
Micheal,
I love ALL your pieces and I appreciate your honesty about your struggles!! Don’t let some hating ass internet gangsta get in the way of your shine!!
I fucking HATE LOATHE ESCHEW Sallie Mae with all my heart, mind & soul. Oh yeah, and FUCK CHASE too.
(In other words, I completely understand.)