Let’s get all of the formalities out of the way first. Yes, I’ve seen Beyoncé’s new video. Of course, I am in love with it. Naturally, I think it’s the best video released so far this year. Actually, I do think it’s probably Beyoncé’s best video to date. Sure, she is putting your favorite to shame. No, I don’t care that you don’t like it. Uh, I’ll pass on arguing back and forth about it. Eh, if you think I have an obsession I think my genitals need a barber.
There, have we covered all of the basics? Seriously, if you like it, I love you, if you don’t, I still love you for caring enough to say so here (although, you should probably email this post to someone who does — they’ll like it more, no?). Anyway, I actually wanted to focus on the morons who are saying Beyoncé’s new video is yet another sign that she is a part of the Illuminati.
Yes, sights of Mufusa, those hating ass hyenas that took Simba’s daddy out, along with some wandering eye all has a village idiot near you thinking that if MTV still did Making The Video, the lost footage would show the devil teaching Beyoncé how to properly flip her hair while doing a sexy stanky legg.
I don’t understand you conspiracy theory loving dimwits are forever looking for the devil in a music video. Why aren’t you in Washington throwing holy water on your trifling ass congressperson and the lobbyist to which he or she serves? Don’t bother giving me an answer the requires a field trip to your acid-abusing friend’s YouTube channel. Just shut up.
Anyway, again, I love the video and since the world is apparently ending tomorrow I better get on the good foot and learn the Tofo Tofo two-step.