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Before you even think it, no, I’m not suggesting we all become big splotches of blackness in an attempt to look as white as humanly possible. However, while I wait for my racial draft dream to finally come to fruition I had to come up with something to say to people I wish weren’t in my box. Which brings me to this clip and the black actors who appear in it. For these idiots co-starring in this insanely racist campaign ad let me just say: The first tube of cream is on me.

For some time now I’ve been telling people that when it comes to Los Angeles, there’s this noticeable pattern of anything perceived as black having a negative connotation. That’s why when I hear sad souls speak of racism as if it only exists in the South and various small towns people have never heard of (or ever care to) I alert them to the fact that it’s everywhere, particularly in cities home to just about everyone.

I assume that the direction of this campaign was to take covert racism, tie it up, and lock it up in a closet before saying, “Bitch, you’re no fun!” And not only is the campaign racist as it plays on fears of black brutes, sexuality, and the like it’s sexist to boot.

The second largest city in the country has a political ad with hillbilly-sounding pseudo thug Negroes holding up toy guns as the female political opponent is depicted on the pole shaking her ass while gang members’ faces scroll on it. In 2011. I’m not exactly surprised, but heavens to murgatroyd all the same.

I suppose this is one of many looming nightmare ads we can expect next year thanks to the Supreme Court’s ruling that has since given corporations free reign to spend as they please. I already despised this court before so there’s no sense in pressing the point further. But, I would like to send every bad thought imaginable to Ren and Stimpy hollering, “GIVE ME YO CASH, BITCH, SO WE CAN BUY MORE HEAT!”

I’m assuming they found those two bums at some car wash and offered them some black and milds and a $100 to participate in their own races further degradation. I understand that it’s a lingering recession going on, but damn, do people not have any pride? This ignorant sum’bitches do know MadTV no longer airs, right? Wait, I’m trying to make sense of lack of self-esteem and stupidity. Let me not bother. Just join me in prayer that Chip and Dale wake up purple on election day, please.

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