Good Luck With That, Cadillac Kimberly

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We all have a right to our opinions, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we should encourage people to cling to such stupid ones. Especially if the opinions in question will more than likely stunt their growth. Enter Cadillac Kimberly, who I’ve noticed in the last two weeks is not particularly fond of gay people. She doesn’t specifically say so, though. No, she wraps it up in the bow of being a Christian woman that essentially hates the sin but loves the sinner.

Or some bullshit like that.

Though she is free to hold this point of view, as a southern black female comic looking to make inroads in the entertainment industry what are the chances of her getting far with tweets like this:

I’m pretty sure Tracy Morgan can answer. As can today’s Eddie Murphy, who has since apologized for his homophobic tirades back in the 1980s. You can chalk it up to hypersensitivity spurred by political correctness or people finally waking up, but there aren’t too many entertainment mediums left where you can blatantly compare gay people to drug abusers, murderers, or perverts.

It’s for good reason, too: The comparisons are ignorant as fuck. So you know I’m about to put this hypocritical country crock of shit she released onto the Web on full blast now, right?

I’ve been diplomatic enough to state the obvious:  That Cadillac Kimberly is within her right to be anti-gay. However, the hypocrisy of it all is a greater punchline than anything that’s come out of her mouth thus far.

For someone talking about disrespecting God’s law, I find it pathetically predictable how little of God’s laws she seems to employ in her own entertainment ambitions. This is a woman who is “famous” for essentially cursing out reality stars on YouTube. What would Jesus do? Not favorite her videos in his YouTube account.

I’ve found Caddy Kim to be funny, but I’m not Jesus nor am I pretending to be a bastion of moral authority.

Now if someone wants to get on their high horse, the least they could do is live it how they call it.

What do Christians claim God says about premarital sex again? Something to the effect of, “Sit your horny ass down on something that doesn’t erect until you get married fo’ I smite thee slut?” I’m paraphrasing.

She’s not married, and thus, is openly boasting of fornication. Not only she does openly discuss fornication herself, she professes an affinity for others who do the same.

I happen to love Big Boi, too, but in the context of someone chiding those for disrespecting God’s law how are you going to go ga ga over a guy who has a stripper pole in his house and makes strip club music (solo)? Mind you, she’s also cursing in this clip and being blatantly materialistic. Merely doing so in the midst of spewing some pseudo philosophical nonsense doesn’t change that.

Oops, you did it again.

I also wonder what God thinks of the following:

Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t Jesus big on charity? Moreover, isn’t God not very keen on folks talking his name in vain? Lord, I think I’m right. Oh, Lord.

This is what frustrates me so much about some Christians, particularly Christians of color. It’s like you are so quick to condemn some other group, though you forget the same things were done to your black ass. Not to mention in trying to scold someone else based on your obviously limited understanding of your own faith, you show what a self-serving fake ass spiritualist you are. Biblical literalists of convenience are the bane of common sense. And my last nerve.

I should note that Caddy Kim played the “I do have gay friends” card. Gay friends who evidently, follow the Uncle Ruckus approach to life. Yeah, the kind of gays who fit her linear idea of gay men. It’s akin to racists who refute claims of prejudice by shouting about their “black friends.” All my skinfolk ain’t kinfolk and not all gay folks are secure with their strokes.

But wait, I guess I’m supposed to go, “Well, she has gay friends! She can’t really hate them, right?!” Far be it from me for being needy, but I’d like to think anyone deserves more than a shallow friendship in which one person feels the other might be cool to giggle with yet dually believes that his or her union is less meaningful than theirs. Most gay people with self-respect would see through this. All she did was find some poor souls still struggling to rectify who they are with the idiocies they’ve been conditioned to believe by way of distorted biblical text. Whoopity motherfucking do.

I’m also sure some people admire her for sticking to her principles and not bowing to the pressure of the industry for a come up. Insert rant about “gay mafias” here. In theory, I would agree about the power of principle but she straddles the line of prejudice given she’s sure to note how her gay friends are “bosses.”

I wish these gay friends of hers were boss enough to let her know that as a creative person, having an open mind can do wonders for her both personally and professionally. But what do I know? God’s about to put a boot on my most private areas for violation.

Actually, I’m pretty sure of one thing. Johnny Gill’s next album has a better chance of sending Chris Brown back to Tappahannock than Caddy Kim does making it big out in LA and on TV talking that poorly of gay people. Keep it regional, Saint.

You sure do, Buick, but the biggest irony of it all is your shtick probably appeals most to a lot of gay men. So if all this comes back to bite you in your ass (not in the gay way, you blessed woman of God, you) don’t say no one warned you.

And for the love of God, watch For The Bible Tells Me So already. Then go read. Rinse and repeat. You’re welcome.

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