Waka Is For Poppin’ & Wildin’, Not Praise and Worship

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I wasn’t aware that gospel artists remixed contemporary music until about 10th grade. That’s when my Catholic parish got a curly-wig wearing priest who would soon import the black gospel choir from his old church. I didn’t mind the shift in musical offerings considering the alternative was an organist and a soloist who sang in a style my ears never found to be that interesting. I think I would’ve appreciated her way of singing more had I been born before Vatican II like my mommy.

So yes, I liked the gospel choir better because it at least made a largely European themed way of worship feel more familiar. There were times when the choir would make me wince, though. Namely when they shifted from Kirk Franklin to Puffy and Jermaine Dupri. One memory that sticks out in particular is when the choir decided to remix Musiq Soulchild’s “Love.”

Lord
So many people use your name in vain
Lord
Those who faith in you sometimes go astray
Lord
Through all the ups and downs the joy and hurt
Lord
For better or worse I still will choose you first

They also threw in some other corny verse and a guest rapper from the choir. I immediately started laughing out loud during mass. I couldn’t help myself. I found it corny as hell. The changes weren’t exactly a stretch given the original song, but it still sounded bad to me all the same.

Since I stopped being a regular church goer I’ve been largely oblivious to future remixes. Unfortunately, thanks to my friend and obvious demon, Lauren, I’m now reminded that these reworks are still being done — and uploaded online for all the world to see. If Jesus wept, it’s probably over the embarrassment that comes with being linked to such crappy reworks.

I initially thought it was satire or something, but Lauren assured me that these Dallas-based rappers were serious. She’s right. Sadly.

From their Facebook page:

Attempting 2 Take Gospel Music 2 a New-Level, while Reaching out 2 others and Minstering the Word of GOD at the SAME TIME….

Why can’t Christians let the heathens have their own songs? Especially songs like Waka Flocka Flame’s “No Hands.” When I hear this song I’m thinking, “hands on ya knees, hands on ya knees” versus fall on my knees and pray to the Lord.

I also noticed that their are gospel remixes to sexually-charged songs like “Motivation.” Whoa, savior? While I’m certain that Kelly Rowland loves her Bible, she made that song to get biblical. Why won’t you folks let her sin in peace?

I find this all to be selfish. Okay, so maybe I do adore the screwed and chopped version of “God In Me,” but I didn’t change the lyrics. Never once have I said anything like, “It’s the Pimp (C) in me!” I know my limits. It’s time holy rollers learned theirs.

No one wants to hear, “It ain’t no fun, if my Jesus can’t have none.” Or, “Say his name, say his name. When no one is around you say, ‘Jesus I love you,’ if you ain’t running games.” The same goes for, “Bless that demon that you like so bad. And when your with it, know that God’s in your head.” Oh yeah, a big no, too, for, “Stop! Now the let mother blesser pray for y’all.”

Let “Saved Faces” “Sex Faces” and “Christians In Jerusalem” “Niggas In Paris” be free. If gospel singers want to reach the youth, try your own bounce friendly works like Mary Mary. Until then, cut this shit out.

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