Laying Down For A Leg Up

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What is so sexy about a slinky? Forgive me, I haven’t touched one since 1988 and therefore am unaware of its aphrodisiac appeal. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate the video. Who can hate a body of work that can take Reynolds Wrap (I’m assuming the recyclable kind because it’s on trend) and make it into something so pretty and sparky? Plus, Kelly even managed to hit up a local zoo and borrow Barbar to help her break it down.

Somebody’s appreciating that boost in the budget post “Motivation” peak on the charts. I see you, Kelly, and I’m sure one of the production assistants smelt your success. By the loads.

Alas, there are some things not to like about the “Lay It On Me” video. The first would be Kelly Rowland’s hair. I’m no owner of a Kim’s Beauty Supply, but I know wack weave when I see it. Kelly Rowland has an amazing body thanks to her trainer and surgeon. If you’re going snatch hair from the scalp of an unsuspecting Indian woman, the least you could do is mold it into something that better accentuates all of the other positives that Kelly’s got going for her.

The second problem I have stems with brand of jig used. Granted, I will probably do one of those little moves she does if this song comes on in the club (or my iPod shuffle puts it on in my car while I’m sitting in traffic, which is far more likely considering…). However,  it’s a move I would have done on instinct anyway. It’s all basically a two-step and quick grind. Like, somebody’s current aunty could’ve helped craft that dance break. I read someone describe her dancing as “bish looks like she’s parking a car.” I have to agree: Kelly does have a parallel parking thrust going in throughout the video.

The biggest problem I have with the video is that it’s arriving so late the term “colored people time” would cut you for blatant disrespect. When I first heard “Lay It On Me,” I thought it sounded like that Keri Hilson song that pretends to be that Rihanna song. Or the Nicole Scherzinger that doing a similar impersonation. It’s since grown on me, though, which leaves me boggled as to why this video didn’t drop in the summer. It’s such a summery song. I suppose we ought to just celebrate Kelly even getting a second video.

I’m going to give Kelly Rowland some big ole praise for something: It seems like she’s finally getting it. Usually, I’m annoyed with people who fall back on sex because they haven’t a clue as to what else to do with their music and image. In Kelly’s case, I think it’s the smartest thing she could have ever done. I realize some people love Kelly doing rave music or what have you, but haven’t you been keeping up with the news? The Euro ain’t what it used to be. Neither is the dollar, but c’mon nah, if branching out no longer produces the same kind of check what is the point? She can watch American gay men dance to this song high as easy as she could some Europeans with the stuff David Guetta gives her.

Kelly has come home…and proceeded to toot it up. Anyone that has heard Kelly Rowland on Avant’s “Separated (Remix)” or “Bad Habit” or “Game Over” knows that she is great for straight R&B records. And sex music. I’m talking “Motivation,” “The Show” with Tank” and that new joint, “Slow Motion,” with Travis Porter. That works for her and “Lay It On Me” is still in the same family. I don’t mind Kelly doing uptempos. In fact, I encourage it. Who remembers Kelly boppin’ out Beyoncé to “Soldier” and twirking her life away on the dance breaks to “Lose My Breath?”

If she can’t be as much of a leader as some of the other girls in pop, she can at least work a format known to produce success. To quote the brilliant, Fresh, “Go and Sell That Ass, Girl.” I don’t object largely because Kelly seems to be able to do this without looking desperate like some of the other lessers. See this post for point of reference. So while the video isn’t perfect and it’s late like hell, Kelly gets a gold star as it is decent in the end. Well, she deserves a silver one, but the sight of Big Sean gave her an upgrade. Same for her Harem of Homeboys that she keeps around.

Next time, though, Kelly, try to angle Big Sean in a way that makes me think of Hammertime.

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