I’m not one of those people who actually thinks President Obama will lose reelection, but a weak economy always leaves that an open possibility. So when Rick Perry decided to enter the race for the Republican presidential nomination, I was worried for a millisecond. Not because I find him especially capable of anything other than pissing non-rich people off with his policies. I just wondered would Americans be dumb and/or angry enough to fall for yet another cowboy yokel who promises to send this country soaring though ultimately proves to let corporations take a big piss on all of us.
I can now confidentially say that Rick Perry won’t be president. Ever. I knew this slimmer Fred Flintstone as a Latino looking sum’bitch was simple, but even I didn’t realize he would make me appreciate the intellect of not so curious George W. Bush. Consider yourselves lucky, America, ’cause even one quick glance at how much of a waste Ricky has been as governor of Texas (for ten damn years, blame the hillbillies) will convince you that his fuck ups throughout his presidential bid is each of our collective come up. Unfortunately, that means in the meantime the press will still be pretending that pizza man who allegedly thinks too much with his penis actually has a chance before ultimately subjecting us to Mitt Romney’s losing battles with amnesia. Still, just be grateful you won’t have to deal with this walking speech impediment for much longer. Some of us haven’t been as lucky.