“Bold” Has Gotten Boring

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Perhaps it’s just her on-air character I can’t stand. Or maybe she’s a lovely person when you meet her. Who am I kidding? The way she behaves on camera is very likely the way she is in “real life.” Suffice to say, I can’t stand Evelyn Lozada. She’s so mean and spiteful. I don’t find her to be that particularly entertaining — at least certainly not after the first season.

My favorite, Rich Juzwiak, wrote a piece on why she’s the reason to watch Basketball Wives. She certainly gives her all, but if anything, Evelyn is the reason why it’s becoming increasingly harder for me to continue watching this show. The previous season of Basketball Wives wasn’t all that great, but if the fourth season opener is any indication this season might not be something I want to indulge in week after week. Yeah, they’ll be fights on fights on fights, but these ladies seem like they’re gonna be trying far too hard on topping the outlandishness viewers saw on Love & Hip Hop. At the helm of this is the biggest shrew of the show.

Don’t get me wrong: I realize why she is the breakout star of the show. I understand that this genre of programming requires a villain, and again, she plays that role exceptionally well. Too well. Can she take a break? Why are you always pissed at somebody, Evilyn? Must you always be a bully? Don’t you ever get tired of being you? I suppose she’d respond to all of this with “hell motherfucking no, bitch” and/or “you a bum.” Or worse, she’s whine about “the haters” like most self-important folks who can’t stomach criticism. I blame y’all for encouraging her.

This includes many of my friends – and even select relatives – who all love themselves some Evelyn. I’ve heard varying reasons why — most of which center on her dressing nice and being funny. Meh.

I find her antics obnoxious. The same goes for her being the biggest non-fighting fighter I have ever seen. She huffs and puffs yet never manages to blow a damn thing down. All she ever manages to do is break alcohol bottles (which is a form of abuse if there ever were one) and wait for producers to break up the brawl she knew was never gonna go down anyway. The Velvet Rope Tour was less choreographed than her “fights.”

Wait. This is the part where I’m supposed to say fighting is bad and bemoan how sad it is that grown women are behaving in this manner for television viewers’ amusement. Okay. There.

Anyway, Evelyn barks like Cujo but fights like that dog after he had been shot and killed. She’s got her nerve telling Jen that she “ain’t ’bout that life.” Neither are you, “boo boo.” Jen should have listened to Lisa Turtle Jr. about Evelyn. Let that be a lesson to each of you: Watch who you volunteer to be the Scrappy to their Scooby.

I seem to be in the minority, but I think this show could survive without Lady Bottle Waster just fine. Much like Baloo on The Real Housewives of Atlanta, I’m sure there are plenty of loud, abrasive, over-the-top women more than willing to jump on national TV to tell someone that she fucked their husband and that they were a non-motherfucking factor in addition to tossing things she at people she knows won’t get the chance to go upside her head over it. Maybe producers should try proving me right…like now.

I’m pretty sure Evelyn is ready for her spin-off anyhow. Yeah, gon’, girl. Show the world that you can find true love far faster if you pay more attention to your DMs versus Tyrese’s tired ass tweets. Plus, you can show people how you behave when you’re not enraged over…anything. We’ve seen enough of that. Trust me.

P.S. Congratulations on your book deal, Evelyn. No really. For someone who usually only says the words “bitch, fuck, red bottoms, and Chad” netting a lit and film deal with a major publisher is impressive. Go you.

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