The Princess of Smurf Village has returned with her first visual in years and I have to admit that it’s totally out of this world. With that in mind here’s to hoping it finds the black hole it belongs in. Sorry, Ashanti, but who wrote this treatment and how could you have liked it? Were you just happy to be doing a video after so long? I can understand that proves to be the case, but Pokémon, Princess Leia and the Starship Enterprise already had their things going. They didn’t need further shout outs from you, love.
First, let’s begin with the Star Wars premise introduced at the beginning:
AS A TORTURED SOUL FLOATS INTO THE FUTURE
THE ONLY WAY TO HEAL IS TO ACCEPT
AND LET GO OF THE PAST
Oh, we’re going the “Girl, you so deep” route. Looks like the kind of tweets that leads to someone catching the mute button on my phone. Well, I suppose it’s still a step up from what could have been a more typical video. Say, where Ashanti’s homegirl sees her man at the club with some off brand version of herself, which leads to Ashanti and her mama busting the windows out his car then enjoy some free Peach Ciroc courtesy of Vita, the club bartender. Wait, that sounds better, doesn’t it? Why didn’t I direct this video?
As for Busta Rhymes, who continues to serve the fast flow well after all these years: Dude, you could’ve played along with the costumes. I mean, don’t get me wrong and think I love this video. That would be false. Point is if you’re going to go left with your concept everyone’s got to commit. It wouldn’t be the first time Bussa Bust dressed up like a damn fool to entertain the hell out of us for four or five minutes. Why couldn’t he have done it for this?
He done went and forgot his roots ’cause he’s rocking a skully as if he’s a robber from the future.
Now there’s another special talent included in “The Woman You Love” video, and dear heavenly homosexual loving God, he still looks damn good. Hey, Marcus Patrick. It’s been way too long. I am thrilled to see Ashanti acquire his services, but I’m disappointed that it’s all from the wrong angels.
Why is wearing so many clothes? Ashanti, girl, look at that body. He works out.
For the record, that’s the first and last time I will ever quote that wack ass group ’round these parts and in life.
Anywho, a friend of mine texted: “He looked like he wasn’t enjoying touching her.” To which I responded, “Of course he didn’t like touching her. He used to flap his dick for tips.” True story, folks. He is legend. For several splendid reasons.
For that alone, thank you for reigniting the dream, Ms. Douglas. I don’t mind you being back. You did have hits. However, I’m still going to block out this video after I hit submit on this post, but know that if nothing else, I along with many others appreciate your casting choices. Call me, Marcus. And Ashanti, call another director for the second single’s video.