Miss Kitty and The Holy Angels

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I was more than ready to talk about the Lord’s toothless crooners, otherwise known as Miss Kitty and The Holy Angels. However, after reading more about them I’m afraid I can’t. Well, not completely anyway. Trifling or not, I’m a teensy bit sad over it all the same.

From the YouTube page of this future online video classic:

Before you make fun of this video please consider that Miss Kitty and the Holy Angels are part of a Homeless Ministry Mission at Friendship World Outreach. They, themselves, are homeless. They are on the same spiritual journey as many of us. Perhaps, singing isn’t their “gift”, but I have a feeling that God is enjoying every minute. Instead of putting them down, we should be lifting them up. We don’t all start at the same place in our walk.

Damn. Not only did Jesus take the wheel, he bust a U-Turn on my ass and sped off. I will say that anytime you have to start off with “before you make fun of this video,” you know good and well that you’re asking for it. I’ll refrain, though. It is Good Friday, after all.

I guess I can focus on the positive or something. Uh, how about we start off with their uniforms? So they’re like coordinated and shit; gold star for them. Yes, I heard John Witherspoon’s voice in my head while typing the word “coordinated.” I’ve got to entertain myself somehow.

Moving on, shout out to the two Holy Angels who led the Soul Train line to heaven. The man in red had a mean (and holy) bop while Miss Kitty (presumably) had a very nice two-step going for God. Oh, and her drop for Jesus: Praise the Lord and the mercy granted to thy limbs. For if not for the most high you most certainly would’ve stayed low on the ground.

Look at God, Miss Kitty. Look at God.

Speaking of Miss Kitty, here’s what one person posted on the message board I found this video on said about her:

She’s an ordained minister, but they won’t let her preach. My friend said they let her do it once, and it was awful. She started talking about Job, and then segued into Moses parting the Red Sea. She said, Miss Kitty was up there for 20 minutes telling them there were dolphins in the sea, turtles, sharks, eels. Everybody was just sitting there clapping and saying amen Miss Kitty. And, then she said, “Yall know what else was in that sea Moses parted.” She waited until everyone said,”What Miss Kitty?” She leaned in on the mic and replied,” Niggers was in that sea.” They haven’t let her preach since.

“Niggers was in that sea,” folks. I don’t know about y’all, but I wouldn’t mind getting a copy of one of Miss Kitty’s sermons. She sounds mighty entertaining as an orator if you ask me. I believe those church folks who feel otherwise are what Beyoncé and us Beyhive members now refer to as “wasps.”

That said, I’m going to cut myself off now as I feel as though I’m circling a wee bit too close to the first few sections of hell. To those of you who are still Christians, enjoy your Good Friday fish dinner and have a Happy Easter.

And remember: Niggers was in that sea.

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