1. Who told T.I. that it would be a good idea to turn Iggy Azalea into the white Jackie-O?
2. Am I to be stoned for admitting that I kind of dig the idea of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian as a couple?
3. Although she’s designed to be Halle Berry’s sequel, isn’t Paula Patton basically just a luckier Lela Rochon?
4. If Madea were a few decades younger and way more honest, would she be Funky Dineva?
5. Anyone else revisiting this after seeing that bland trailer for the Sparkle reboot?
6. What the hell, Harpo?
7. Can we please get Regina Hall more high profile comedic roles?
8. Is Britney Spears really about to get $15 million to just sit there and try not to scare people as she struggles to form a declarative sentence on The X-Factor?
9. Doesn’t Brian McKnight sound like ‘naughty gynecologist’ in this awful ass song about quirting vaginas in need of tutorials?
10. Has anyone actually tried the new chicken wraps at Burger King?
11. Can someone inform Nicki Minaj, Roman Zolanski, Martha Zolanski, Onika Maraj, the Barbz, Ken Barbz, and whomever else residing in the fold that criticism comes with the territory so chill the fuck out already?
12. Speaking of her, whatever happened to Nicki Minaj’s bisexuality?
13. How long will the good people at Roc Nation try to convince us that Rita Ora isn’t just a Rihanna hologram?
14. Will the self-appointed respectable Negroes of the world ever let me watch my trashy reality television programming in peace?
15. Drake recently acknowledged that he has a sex tape locked away, so although we’ll never see it (no complaints either), what are the chances that it looks like a Lifetime TV movie? You know, before the tragedy happens.
16. Why won’t Eve just fess up to not liking Nicki Minaj already?
17. After Lil’ Kim announced her “Return of the Queen” tour, who else instantly thought, “OOH! I can’t wait for Beyoncé’s next tour?”
18. Considering she throws out the word faggot in anger and thinks all it takes for gay men to fall for her is a fresh weave and vintage coutour, why do some of you gay men like Marlo Hampton exactly?
19. So if I tell you I’m kind of turned on by this, must I start referring to myself as a limited Rihanna gay?
20. Can we have a moment of silent for Sheree Whitfield?