Small Spaces, Big Spectacle

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Unless this dreamer has Wayne Szalinski’s toy chest hiding somewhere, dude in the clip is wee bit too thrilled about living in a room that makes both Chateau Sheree and that old woman’s shoe look like real estate marvels. I adore New York City. Oh yes I do. Even if the city gets Satan’s right sac hot in the summer, old man winter cold as early as October, and known as Master Splinter’s playground all year round. I love it all the same for varying reasons. However, I don’t love it enough to pay a mortgage in rent (if you’re living in the South) to reside in a space that’s about 1/4 the size of a mid-atlantic home’s garage (and that’s being very, very generous).

I recognize that it beats the alternative: homelessness. Still, there’s something quite annoying about this trend of folks showing off their tiny living quarters as if they’re in a race to win the title of shittiest home. It gives attention whoring teases in addition to a sort of posturing from the featured. As in, “Suck it, mom and dad. I don’t need my trust fund. Look how I’m living.” Insert hipster love of all things ironic and pseudo rebellious here. If I had Scrooge McDuck for a mommy or daddy, I’d be calling for a deluxe apartment in the sky something that wouldn’t give claustrophobics an instant palpitations.

Maybe it’s a difference in background, but from where I come from (no Tami Roman) people who aren’t in the best shape aren’t this willing to “show off.” Why so happy to live so hollow? Wait, let me rephrase before I get some inspirational quote about being grateful for whatever you have taken from the strip of paper tucked inside of the dessert that came with your order of moo goo gai pan.

What I mean is: What is up with these New Yorkers trying to out ant hill each other?

Okay, a YouTube clip going viral is cute and all, but if I lived in an area that tiny I’d be working on an escape plan from top to bottom.

Top: Hugging myself while humming Negro spirituals up top.

Bottom: Doing squats while contemplating living up to Ronnie hoe quotes below.

Pun not intended.

I read that that this guy is paying $800 a month to live there. There has to be a room – a real one – he could rent in Harlem or some borough. But you know, as he said, we’re humans…we adapt. I guess. Personally, I can’t live in a space where one overheated Lean Pocket might be my cause of death. Conversely, it’s gotta be convenient to know a q-tip can double as a mop where you stay.

Just not sure how “look at me, look at me” I’d be about it if that were my reality.

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