Go In (On My Questions)

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Do you remember being on the playground with your friends, reciting vulgar lines from whatever album your older sister or brother was playing on the way to school? That’s what this video reminds me of, only back in the day we didn’t think to film it. Thank goodness, too, because this looks like a visual temptation for an ass whooping or visit from your local CPS worker.

This video is about a year old, but my questions are timeless.

For example, whose mama’s¬†nightstand gun is that young lady holding? Does she have a permit? I highly doubt it.

Is the girl rapping saying “eat the team?” If so, is that the euphemism for oral sex nowadays? Now if that’s the case, the next time someone is giving me curbside surface (a euphemism for oral sex that I just made up), shall I shout “Go Team Go!” while they perform? That’s kinda tacky, no?

Wait. I’ve got more questions. Bear with me, folks.

How old are these chirren? They look under 18, which my life in Los Angeles has taught me means they’re at least 25. Okay, not really, but again, how old are these chirren? It all but determines whether or not this next question is inappropriate: This song isn’t half bad, right?

Well, don’t get me wrong, it has enough bird in it to come with a side of mashed potatoes and a honey buttered biscuit from Church’s. However, y’all know those kind of songs send me over. Are you judging me? Fine, but at least acknowledge the beat is kinda cool. C’mon, say it.

Final question: What does it say about me that I do the same bop as that cute girl in the pank and white at the start of the video?

I need answers.

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