Reasons Aren’t Good Enough

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Mere seconds into this new Trey Songz video I contemplated rising from my seat in order to do something more important like take a piss. Much of that has to do with me immediately hearing the beat and thinking, “Go, girl, it’s ya birthday. Open wide, I know ya thirsty.” You’re a wee bit too young to be battling dementia, handsome, but in case you did forget, we’ve already said ahh.

I know Trey wanted to initially be a rapper or something when he first entered music, but there comes a point when you have to pull your inner rapper back on an R&B song. Say, when your hook consists of the following: “I only came for bitches and the drinks. Bitches and the drinks. I only came for the bitches and the drinks.” Please, oh, please, ladies go iTunes for the Usher and the Biebs. Usher and the Biebs, so we can collectively say to Tremaine, “Nigga, please.”

This song is painfully uninspired. A glossy video sponsored by that cough syrup tasting cherry Grey Goose (per my friend) doesn’t blind me to that. The only positive things I can say about this video include that pink number Tip has on that I need to steal, and of course, certain angles from Trey.

Still, if this is the direction he’s going on, I’m worried. His last album was trash and I can’t take another wack one. Maybe this song is for people who love repetition and the good folks who will settle for anything playing in the club so long as they’re drunk. I’m not present for either cause. Do better than “bitches and drinks” in a hook, Trey…and remember, if you need help with that or, well, anything, I’m only a non-disclosure agreement and financial settlement away.

No, I don’t care about your judgment. See above.

But wait, riddle me this:

Is this a Beijing, homeboy?


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