1. Drake has Aaliyah’s face tattooed on his back and now he’s added her birthday on him. On a scale from Belieber to Yolanda Saldivar what’s his stan number?
2. As excited as I am about Beyoncé planning to release a documentary, does anyone else want Rihanna to stop playing and offer her generation’s answer to Madonna’s Truth or Dare already?
3. When Mariah Carey sings “get ‘em, get ‘em” on her single, is she talking about her missing verses on the song? (Love you always, Mariah.)
4. Do the people claiming Frank Ocean’s fanfare is rooted in him saying he was in love with a dude realize that the Frank Ocean fan train started boarding more than a year ago?
5. Thank you so much Oprah Winfrey for the series order, but universe, what took you so long to give La Toya Jackson a reality show?
6. Does Snoop Dogg actually expect us to start calling him Snoop Lion?
7. Remember when Ludacris had much better songs than this?
9. Shouldn’t JoJo and her handlers allow her to fulfill her destiny as the grandniece of Teena Marie?
10. Is there really any point in bringing back the other version of Love & Hip Hop?
11. Why even bother continuing to pretend that Kanye West and Kim Kardashian aren’t absolutely perfect for each other?
12. If Kyle and Kendal Jenner can co-author a sci-fi teen novel, what’s stopping Bruce Jenner from starting a new career as a coke rapper?
13. Who else was left speechless at Lil’ Wayne’s announcement that he was taking a break from rapping to focus on skating?
14. Can you imagine how difficult it must be to beat Mariah Carey in Words with Friends?
15. If Jennifer Lopez can crawl out of the abyss that became of her music career and make hits again, what’s stopping Janet Jackson?
16. How much longer is Trade Trey Songz going to keep up this Thug & B bit?
17. Considering that no one can play a character better than him right now, is Rick Ross the Meryl Streep of rap? (No shade and stuff.)
18. Do people actually care about Ryan Locke’s interview skills given…everything else?
19. Can your cousins get the hell out of Gabby Douglas’ head?
20. Who wants a lesson on stereotypes from the star of Buppies and Love That Girl?