Maybe Not, Mimi

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She huff and she puffs though if you’re really paying attention, you know Mimi Faust isn’t saying a damn thing in this episode of Jermaine Dupri’s “Living The Life.” When you sign up for a reality show, particularly one called Love & Hip Hop, it should be understood that you’re going to be delving into your personal life before a national audience — thus leaving yourself susceptible to public criticism. Some take these opinions better than others, so as much I can understand why Mimi might be a little defensive in light of the “girl, what’s wrong with your?” critiques aimed her way, I’m going to need her to do better than declarations like, “All you motherfucking bitches been cheated on.”

Madame. Probably not, and even if that were true, not everyone would stick around for it for that long and then offer up some fake ass “Ain’t I A Woman” type monologues on TV to save face…and possibly net some role on some chitlin play called Mama, Madea Choked On Your Meatloaf and Died.

And don’t any of you dare talk to me about her being under the influence when offering that ridiculous declarative statement either. I’ve said plenty of more insightful things while basking in the pleasure of Peach Ciroc. I’ve heard her offer a similar rebuttal while sober anyway.

Don’t get all angry over you showing your ass.

No one wants to admit they’ve behaved as stupidly as it seems, but if Twitter reaction to what she chooses to put on TV bothers Mimi so much she can utilize her block button, or better yet, learn to block out the opinions of complete strangers — self-included. Unfortunately, that would be too much like right which suggests that it won’t happen.

But okay, Mimi. “Fuck all the bitches.” You told “your truth.” Speaking of truth, we all go a bit too far when prefacing truth with words like “my.” The truth shouldn’t require that kind of modification. Truth is truth. Has Paul Ryan taught us nothing about the art of tap dancing around honesty?

Anyway, Mimi is pretty and has weave that’s way too wonderful to be flipped around under such wicked circumstances. Get on over it, ma’am. And God bless and shit.

Now on to the glorious joy that is Joseline Hernandez. Mimi may see herself as leaps and bounds ahead of this Spanglish sensation, but at least Joseline has learned to be self-deprecating. Remember when Joseline gave the world a tour of her vaginal walls in response to rumors that her cookie was originally a foot-long frank? Obviously, that was prompted by hurt and anger but look at her now. She is smiling, throwing the shade right back at the world with a smile, and even learning to poke fun at herself.

Strangé, ex-stripper! Strangé!

She wasn’t my favorite at first, but I adore Joseline now. K. Michelle was right to highlight that it’s hard to be too judgmental on a person with her kind of background. She doesn’t know any better because she was never taught better. There are people with home training who refuse to act right; someone like Joseline needs more time. Whatever direction she goes in, in the interim she comes across far more endearing than Mimi — largely due to her appearing more forthright about her situation.

I can’t get enough of her now. I might even buy “Bailar” when it drops to support her “Keep Me Off The Pole” fund. Disclaimer: If you love the pole, I love it for you. Less judgement, more tips ’round these parts.

Ugh. Why does this show have to leave me so soon? Why can’t it come on every day, all the time like the soap operas it was undoubtedly modeled after?

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