You’re Free To Leave Your Bird Seeds Offline, Love

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In my mind, as soon as Oprah noticed the coast was clear, she hit Gayle via Facetime and asked, “What’s tea, bitch?” I do not have any strong feelings in either direction about Christopher Robyn being a thing again. I do continue to grimace when realizing that I have to keep up with their antics to some degree for day gigs that cover the bane of my existence (repayments on my poor choice of funding my college education), though. Now since I can’t always get away with stating things so plainly elsewhere, allow me to use my space to get a bit out.

Rihanna has her nerve quoting the King of Pop (plus the hairpiece) to communicate that people need to mind their business when it comes to her and Chris Brown. She is the kind of person who will strip naked, jump up and down in front of you, scream “I’m naked” over and over again and then get upset when you notice that she’s not wearing a bra.

What a “Bam! Boom! Plop! Splat! Thwack! Zap!” to my heart.

I know celebrities of her ilk covet of the attention and adoration, but Rih-Rih is giving desperate in need of validation via strangers on a computer realness that I only tag on the “I  need to make up for high school” section on Twitter.

I would’ve never known the extent to which Rihanna behaves as if leans on bird seeds for nourishment if she hadn’t made it so visible.

I get when you’re as big a star as she is some part of your privacy is permanently revoked. Nonetheless, if she wanted to keep something personal to herself, she has a funny way of showing it. If it’s nobody’s business but you and yours, don’t tweet about it every other day, drop racial slurs in song and dress up rice cakes for social media among various other bird chirps. Speaking of Karrueche Tran, much of the essays and outcries about Chris Brown and Rihanna are stuck on one aspect: Them being back together.

I agree with Oprah to a degree about forgiveness and all that other jargon she and Iyanla get their jollies over. Yet, not enough people seem to be getting on Rihanna for the way she treated another woman. If you’re exhausted with the rest of their dynamic, I find this still worth highlighting.

I mentioned it before, but I prefer not knowing my pop stars are mean spirited attention seeking jackasses who feed off the humiliation of others. I may not always been the nicest person in the world and I most certainly have my issues, but I do not in any way take joy in pushing my misery onto someone else. There is no excuse for that; she can afford therapy.

I understand you leave yourself to criticism if you chose to date someone in the public eye, but I feel for anyone who becomes a steady target of a jealous famous ex empowered by bunch of also jealous young girls and queens. Some of the jokes are just that, though I employ other people to accept that the closet they’ll ever get to Chris Brown’s dick is that image of his number three pencil colored genitalia saved on their phone. Get over it and give that girl a break.

As for him:

“The Real Chris Brown” from David Alan on Vimeo.

A person who repeatedly speaks about not wanting to be judged is not going to drive that point home by uploading a video of himself themed after Taxicab Confessions in a transparent attempt to sway public perception of him. Change your cry to “judge me as I prefer you to view me.” And Ren, you knock it off, too.

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