What Next, Romney?

As Kenyan grandmothers lead village twerk-offs over President Obama’s re-election abroad and conservative white people act as if their own grannies died in their arms over the defeat of his Republican challenger , one wonders: Just what is Mitt Romney going to do now that his dream of becoming President Gordon Gekko is over? And more importantly, what can he learn from the electoral fade he caught on Tuesday?

In this week’s roundtable, those who have suffered crushing defeats in their own careers offer the former Massachusetts governor insight on how to move forward now that’s Obama’s Forward branded campaign has defeated him.

Al Gore (losing Democratic presidential nominee): Well, before we dig into the nuts and bolts of this, I’d like to begin with a quote from one of my all-time favorite songs that’s perfect for the occasion. It goes: “Who shot ya? Separate the weak from the obsolete.” I bet y’all thought the only dead Wallace I knew was named George. Who do you think screened all the CDs Tipper wanted to slap those parental advisory stickers on? In any event, let’s proceed and give Mittens what he needs.

Justin Guarini (American Idol runner-up, 2002): I think right now you should be saying to yourself, “I made it this far, I’m so lucky to have this experience.” It’s been a peculiar few months for you, Mitt, but you know, you’re still alive, you’re still a very determined and motivated person. It’s definitely not the end. It’s just the beginning for you!

Keri Hilson (she’s an R&B singer, Beyoncé is still alive): I’m sorry, but who is this stranger?

Read the rest over at The Shadow League.